TOS Truth or Dare!
by Zelda12343
Summary: Because they're fun to write! Submit your own truths and dares! Rated T to be safe XD .
1. Chapter 1

**Truth or dare, TOS style!  
**Once upon a time, the famous (or not) authoress, Zelda12343, had a brilliant idea. She was absolutely sick of routine, and was in the meantime working on major chapters for her other stories. She felt very lazy as well, and anyway, the idea was truly brilliant-or terrible.

"AHAHAHA!" She cackled. "I shall start a TOS fanfic that owns all others! It will be a centishot (or 100 chapters) to own all others madness-wise! I can hardly wait to start out! In the meantime, perhaps I had better call those crazy friends of mine."

With that, she used her magical author's powers and whisked herself away to the Enterprise.

* * *

Kirk was feeling extremely weird. It was as if someone began possessing him. But before he could tell anyone, he began to speak in a voice that was a fusion of his and Zell's.

"Friends," Kirk/Zell began. "I have decided to subject us all to a Truth-or-dare fic!"

Silence met him/her. Spock stopped his equipment and stared at the Captain. McCoy gasped, "I'm a doctor, not a comedian!" Scotty shook his head and tried to stand up from where he'd been fixing one of the machines, but bumped his head and gave a shout of pain. Uhura gasped and dropped her microphone. Sulu stood up and faced the captain, an incredulous look on his face. Chekov gave a squeak of fright and collapsed, receiving a severe concussion upon contact with the floor.

"Dammit, Jim, can the boy do anything other than hurt his head?" McCoy dragged Chekov to Sick Bay. "Voyage Home, Wrath of Khan, Day of the Dove, to name a few!"

"Well, anyway," Kirk/Zell continued, "This'll include OCs, main characters, and random crewmembers. Sorry if any redshirts are harmed in the process. And finally, no real slash. No controversy will be created here!"  
With that, Zell stopped possessing the captain and spoke on her own.

"Let the madness begin!" she shouted.

"Why are you here?" Spock asked.

"_Someone _needs to oversee this joint, don't they?" Zell replied with a smile. When the characters looked at her blankly, she shouted "WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? WE'VE GOT REVIEWS ON THE WAY, DON'T WE?"

The crew jumped to attention and followed Zell's lead, staring in a creepy manner at the readers, chanting "Review... Review... Review..."

All of them did except for Spock, who just raised his eyebrow at his fellow crewmemembers and walked out.

* * *

**Author's note: **Other rules that Kirk and I didn't cover include:

**The dares must be rated T or lower! There will be no M-rated dares!  
**

Come to think of it, there will be no M-rated truths either.

There will be few yaoi or yuri-related truths. I do not want to create controversy, so this will just stay off it.

Yaoi or yuri-related dares are allowed as long as they are not serious ones.

I will do a minimum of five dares and five truths per chapter.

No repeated dares.

Songfic-related are encouraged.

I will be including dares and truths of my own if there is a lag.

Well, then, let's go! Review! Submit your dares! *Stares creepily at readers* Review... Submit your dares... Review...


	2. 1 of 100

**Set 1/100**

**Author's note: **_...Well, that was disappointing. A total of two dares were submitted. Thanks to Datalady91 and DazzledByNorrington! Virtual cookies for you! *Hands both reviewers cookies in the shape of the Star Trek Characters' faces*.  
_

_Well, to everyone else... sigh. Just... submit your dares.  


* * *

_

One fine day on the Enterprise, Zell decided that it was time for the madness to commence. With the click of her fingers, all the important members were on the bridge, all stunned by the fact that Zell was now sitting in the Captain's chair.

"Hi, guys!" she grinned, looking defiantly at Kirk, as if daring him to call her on her violation of authority. "So, glad that I released y'all early from the begging for a review session?" Vigorous nods all around gave Zell her answer.

"Well, sorry to report, but we're going to have to go longer next time. Two people submitted truths or dares. Next time that happens, we're using some of my dares as fillers."

Everyone began shaking. At least, except Spock.

"May I ask who submitted the dare?" he asked serenely.

"Datalady91," Zell replied cheerily. Sulu and Chekov perked up at that. Datalady91 had written some very funny fics about them.

"Well, 'fess up. What's the dare?" Sulu asked.

"Let me read it," Zell replied cheerfully and pulled her tablet computer.

"So _that's _who stole it!" Kirk exclaimed.

"It's not yours, though it's based on Star Trek technology," Zell announced. "And next time you accuse me of being a delinquent, I'll do something horrid to you in one of the dares I write." Kirk whimpered.

"Hey, what do you know, it's for you, Sulu and Chekov!" Zell grinned warmly at the two,who perked up at the thought of being able to carry out a dare, not be on the receiving end of one. As Sulu, Chekov, and Zell read the dare, their grins got wider and wider with every word.

***grins wickedly* Ooh, this is gonna be GOOD... I've got a dare for you. Kirk (or Sulu or Chekov, whoever you think is best) dares Bones to say he really does like Spock after all, that they are in fact good friends. I can just picture Bones' reaction!**

Sulu and Chekov exchanged grins, before Chekov appeared confused.

"But Zell! What about the Captain? And why-" Chekov nearly shouted, before Sulu clapped a hand over his mouth.

"DON'T GIVE IT AWAY!" Sulu hissed in a whisper.

"The Captain is annoyed with me," replied Zell. "I don't want to use my author powers right now. I'm a little lazy."

"Very well," Chekov grinned wickedly, looking not unlike his mirror counterpart. "Let's do this!" Sulu and Chekov sauntered towards Dr. McCoy, who wondered what horrible thing had been written for him. If someone was using Sulu and Chekov to dare him, it couldn't be good. He remembered the last time he had crossed paths with Sulu and Chekov all too well.

"Dr. McCoy," began Sulu cheerfully.

"I dare you to admit your _real _feelings about your _friend, _Spock!" Chekov finished, looking innocent, though his eyes glittered maliciously.

Dr. McCoy looked like he had swallowed a whole lemon. Or a gallon of sour milk. Spock raised an eyebrow at him. Kirk just smirked.

"Uh, Spock, could you, uh, leave?" McCoy asked nervously. Zell shook her head, her eyes glittering like Chekov's.

"Unless mentioned in dares, no one leaves!" she declared.

"Fine. I don't like-"

"DR, ANY MORE **** LIKE THAT AND I'LL TURN YOU INTO A GIRL!" Zell thundered. The present characters exchanged nervous glances. Zell had threatened Khan this way when he held a phaser to Chekov on their last mission (**Author's note: **_That I shall write about some time, I promise_). Khan had just laughed, but Zell had been serious. He'd been a girl for about a month. A long, horrible month full of teasing from his subordinates. So everyone knew Zell was serious.

"Dammit, Zell! Fine, I consider Spock a friend-"

"A **_GOOD_** friend!"

"Okay, a good friend. There. I'm done. Stop bothering me."

The other characters giggled in spite of themselves, and Sulu, Chekov, and Zell all doubled over in . McCoy was still looking as though he'd drank a gallon of sour milk. Spock nodded, appearing his usual calm self.

"Can we go now?" Scotty asked.

"Nope," Zell replied. "There's another, by DazzledByNorrington." She read this one to herself, grinning evilly. The characters all instantly stopped laughing and started quaking in fright.

**My truth/dare (it can be both 3) is...**

** Are you (idk if it has to be a specific person...if it is, then McCoy!) ticklish? ;D**

** Muahahahaha!**

"Well now, people _don't _like Dr. McCoy-huh?" Zell looked up, realizing that she'd said the last word of the dare/truth and that last phrase aloud. Chekov looked as though someone had just pushed him off the top of the Empire State Building. McCoy just looked resigned.

"Well, well, well, it's for all of you!" she grinned evilly again and walked up to Kirk.

"Are you ticklish?" she asked him.

"No," Kirk gulped.

"If your lying, it'll be harder."

"I'm not!"

"We'll have to test that, won't we?"

"NO!"

"Yes," she replied and began tickling the Captain with a feather she'd produced out of thin air. who instantly began laughing.

"YOU'RE TICKLISH, AREN'T YOU!"

"Yes, yes, fine!" Kirk replied between laughter. Zell stopped and walked over to McCoy.

"What about you?" she asked with an evil grin, not even waiting for his response. MCoy burst out laughing.

"You?" Zell stopped torturing McCoy and walked over to Uhura. Uhura nervously shook her head, so Zell used her feather of death and doom, causing Uhura to fall over with laughter. For some reason, both Scotty and Sulu burst out giggling as well.

"It appears that the two of them are more ticklish than the rest of us. I don't even have to use my feather! Why not use this spell?" with that, Zell began wiggling her fingers. They laughed harder. It was very interesting.

"Chekov?" Zell walked over to the youngest member of the crew (who was trembling violently now and sweating). "Are _you _ticklish?" Having seen what happened to the rest of his friends, he simply nodded. Better to tell the truth and get it over with.

"_Da, _and very much so," he stuttered. Zell giggled. and pulled out her feather.

"_NYET_! Don't torture me so!" he screamed. "I TOLD THE TRUTH, _DA_? THE TRUTH!" Zell began tickling him anyway.

"Spock?" she walked over to the stoic Vulcan as soon as Chekov nearly suffocated from laughter.

"First of all, the concept of 'tickling' is lost on me," he began. "Second of all, it is not advisable to answer either way, as it seems you will use the feather on me either way."

Indeed, Zell began using the feather. Spock did not react. She began tickling him as hard as she could. No reaction.

"Lucky duck," muttered McCoy.

"I am not a duck, Doctor," Spock replied. "Why is Khan on the screen?"

Everyone whirled around to realize that indeed, Khan was watching, amused.

"Now I know how to capture you and take over the world!" Khan smirked.

"Uhura," Zell hissed through clenched teeth. "Next time a TOD session is scheduled, _close the communications!_" Uhura gulped and nodded.

"You don't know how to get me and Spock!" Zell declared.

"Oh, I'll find a way! It's in accordance with the prophecy!" Khan laughed evilly.

"Have you been visiting Sybil Trelwany again?" Zell asked, amused.

"Yes," Khan replied. Zell rolled her eyes and pointed her fingers at him.

"I shall attempt to hypnotize you now-what's the matter?"

"DON'T POINT THEM! YOU MIGHT START WIGGLING THEM!" Khan screamed. Zell almost seemed to have a lightbulb moment and began wiggling her fingers. Khan, the terror of the galaxy, began laughing as though the world were about to end, or if he had once again trapped Kirk somewhere.

"Khan's ticklish?" Kirk asked in shock. "Never would've guessed. Easiest way to defeat him is to tickle him."

* * *

"Well, I guess we're going to have to include Khan, won't we?" Chekov asked Zell. She had taken him and Spock out to dinner.

"Too good to pass up," Zell replied, smirking. Chekov grinned evilly again.

* * *

**Author's note: **_I didn't add any extra dares this time. Sorry. Well, anyway, you can dare Khan to do stuff too! So please submit dares, truths, and the like!_


	3. 2 of 100

**Set 2/100**

**Author's note: **_Wow, lots of people submitted dares! Thanks to all, namely DazzledByNorrington (again), Freythefrog, Ladyofthelake13, and lickthelightswitch. Virtual cookies time! *Hands virtual chocolate chip cookies*._

_That doesn't mean that the rest of you are off the hook, though! Do submit your dares! Please!_

* * *

The Bridge of the Enterprise was deserted for the moment, so Zell took the time to take it all in. It wasn't that she disliked action, but as her stories were usually action or humor, peace was something that she occasionally enjoyed.

However, this peace came to an abrupt end when Khan suddenly came onscreen and sneered at the girl in the chair.

"Well, well, well. We meet again, do we not?" Khan smirked. Zell lazily held out her tablet laptop, which now had a short passage about Khan sprouting puss-filled boils in places that people didn't usually see. Khan squeaked in terror and quickly apologized. Zell was careful not to forget the little threatening passage, however, just to erase it from the document known as 'TOS Truth or Dare'.

But for now, she was reminded of something. Something major. Something that had to be done. Something that had to be done now.

"Stay onscreen, Khan," she ordered. Khan nodded nervously as Zell snapped her fingers and called the rest of the characters in.

"Well, it's time for MORE MADNESS!" Zell exclaimed happily. The others just nodded, silently crossing themselves or saying prayers. All except for Spock, at least. He just stood there.

"Our first dare is from none other than DazzledByNorrington!" Zell pulled out a piece of paper with a flourish. Chekov glared at her as she quietly read the dare to herself.

**DazzledByNorrington**  
**2010-12-08 . chapter 2**

**Aww yaaaaay! Thank youuuuu 3 **

** I loved Datalady91's dare! They should've made him hug Spock 3 *squeee***

** ...OMG. Do itttt lmao**

Zell grinned widely. More McCoy torture! The fans certainly enjoyed it.

"Sulu? Chekov? C'mere!" she ordered. The two exchanged worried glances, but walked over to Zell. However, their faces cleared in relief when they realized that the dares were directed not at them, but at McCoy once more. The poor guy. Oh well. More fun for them!

They sauntered over to McCoy, who gulped nervously. Exchanging a smile that would put Fred and George to shame, the two began speaking.

"Dr. McCoy," Sulu began.

"We dare you to give Spock a hug!" Chekov added with a little grin. McCoy rolled his eyes.

"Dammit, when will people stop torturing me? I'm a doctor, not something to torture!" he declared and was about to leave the bridge when Zell picked up her tablet laptop menacingly.

"MCCOY!" screamed Khan. "DO IT IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU!"

McCoy whirled around to see that Khan was looking terrified and Zell was grinning evilly. She showed him a passage in her magical document of death that talked about McCoy waltzing with Khan. And for once, Khan was not the girl.

"Okay, fine!" he cried angrily and put his arms briefly around Spock as Zell erased the passage.

"Doctor, what is the significance of these actions?" Spock asked calmly. McCoy rolled his eyes again and pulled quickly away from Spock.

"Thanks, Khan," McCoy mumbled.

"My pleasure," Khan replied. "After all, Zell turned _me _into a girl. I was the laughingstock of Ceti Alpha V! All of my subordinates got a good laugh out of that one! Even my wife and my best friend laughed at me! EVEN THE CETI ALPHA EELS WERE LAUGHING AT THE GREAT KHAN!"

"No surprise," Zell replied with a smirk.

"You demon authoress!" Khan screamed. "I'LL GET YOU LIKE I TRIED TO GET KIRK!"

"The operative word here is 'tried,'" Zell replied, still smirking. Chekov loaded his gun.

"Put that down, Chekov," Zell instructed the headstrong officer, who glared at Khan and put it down. "You had a major hand in his 'death' scene anyway. Though he's here, so it's obvious he didn't die. How that can be canonically accurate, I do not know. Anyway, moving right along."

With that, she picked up a truth from none other than Freythefrog and began to read.

**Freythefrog**  
**2010-12-08 . chapter 2**

**I'd like to dare Spock to wiggle his ears, because that would just make a lovely image. *blushes***

**I would also like for Uhura to tell us what the hottest Starfleet gossip is right now.**

**[Cheers! :) I do enjoy your fic very much.]**

"Thanks!" Zell grinned. "Hey, everyone, someone likes our fic!" Smiles of relief were plain all around. It was nice to know that they were at least appreciated for their torturing.

"Okay, Spock, go for it!" Zell announced. Spock appeared confused.

"What do you mean by 'go for it?'" he asked.

"I mean carry it out!" Zell declared. Spock nodded and quickly moved his ears up an down, causing Sulu and Chekov to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Very good," Zell smiled. "It is obvious you've learned some from your human friends." Kirk and McCoy exchanged glances and smirked.

"Now, Uhura, gossip?" Zell asked.

"Well, there's rumors about Kirk's newest flame," Uhura began. Kirk turned pink.

"Some people are saying that it's Janice Rand," she continued. Kirk seemed to be looking for an escape.

"Also, there's rumors that Irina sent Chekov a letter and proposed in it," Uhura rambled on, unaware of of Chekov's rather shocked expression.

"NYET!" he shrieked.

"Just kidding. Rumors are that she is going to marry one of the members of her cult."

Chekov began to look extremely upset.

"While she never sent me a letter proposing to her, I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE FORGOT ABOUT ME AGAIN!" he shouted, standing up and banging his fist against his station.

"Temper, Mr. Chekov," Kirk tried to appear kind to the younger officer. Chekov looked as though he was about to scald Kirk alive with his vision.

"Sit down," Zell demanded and waved her hand at Chekov. He looked like he was about to scald _her _for a few moments before, with a growl deep within his throat, he sat down.

"And finally, about Spock and I..." Uhura looked hopefully at her teammate. Spock looked away.

"Well, there's nothing between the two of us, no matter how much this poor girl hopes," Uhura finished, looking a little dejected.

"It's okay," Zell replied comfortingly. "I'm a Spock/Uhura shipper myself."

"WHAT?" shouted several members.

"Erm, forget I said anything. What, you guys are getting all the fun! Well, anyway, Uhura, expect that disappointing report of your relationship to change soon enough," Zell smiled at Uhura's relieved expression. "Now let's get onto Ladyofthelake13's truths and dares!"

_From what it seems, it doesn't appear that you are a Chekov/Irina shipper_, Chekov thought to himself. _I wonder who you _want _me to be paired with._

**Ladyofthelake13**  
**2010-12-09 . chapter 2**

**Hey,**

**Love this story! OMFREGOSH, KHAN IS TICKLISH! *RAOTFLUSCB***  
**That means rolling all over the floor until she can't breathe.**

**Sorry, I love this.**

**Anyway... a dare. Or truth. Hmmm.**

**Okay, I guess you could dare someone to pour hot choclate all over themselves ;)**

**A truth: I want to give it to Spock, but I can't think of any good ones. ARGH! *Rips hair in frustration***

**Well, I can't think of any changes. Can't wait to see how evil you are to Khan and them.**

**Speaking of, one for him could be: Why do you waste your time with Sybil? or Why he spends SOOOOOO much time chasing Kirk &Co. when he could actually have a life.**

**By the way Zel, how did KHAN become a GIRL? That's a story I would love to hear.**

"Yay, another fan!" Zell grinned madly, and the others just nodded.

"Yes, I am ticklish," mumbled Khan, turning pink.

"Okay, first order of business. You've been ignored, Kirk, so I order you to pour hot chocolate over yourself," Zell pointed at Kirk, who, seeing Khan's warning expression of do-not-mess-with-her, demanded over shipwide intercom for Yeomen Janice to bring him some hot chocolate.

"Very particular about who you want bringing it, aren't you?" purred Zell.

"Told you I was right!" announced Uhura triumphantly.

"CHOCOLATE!" shrieked Sulu randomly, then realized that Zell was causing him to do so and quickly turned pink. With that, Yeomen Janice appeared on the bridge with hot chocolate for Kirk. Closing his eyes, Kirk held the hot chocolate over his head for a moment before pouring it downwards, drenching himself. He handed the cup to Yeomen Janice, who, confused, walked over to the turbolift.

"Zell-this hurts-can I-ow-get it off?" Kirk gasped. Zell nodded and released Kirk to take a very quick shower. He climbed into the turbolift next to Yeomen Janice, and though no one knew it, the two proceeded to make out.

"Okay, now Spock, you're off the hook. For now," Zell turned to face Spock, who nodded.

"Duly noted," he announced and turned back to his chair.

"Okay, Khan, spill it. Why do you waste your time with Sybil Trelwaney?" Zell asked Khan.

"Well, she _is _rather charming," Khan replied, turning rather pink.

"You're married, aren't you?" Sulu asked incredulously.

"No. Thanks to you lot, she broke up with me and opened a llama farm on Sirius V," Khan replied venomously.

"Why is it thanks to us?" Chekov asked.

"I dunno. I just tend to blame you for everything in my life that goes wrong," Khan shot back.

"Thanks a million," Uhura said sarcastically.

"Anyway, Khan, why do you spend so much time chasin' after us when you could have a life?" Scotty asked.

"BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A LIFE!" Khan screamed before burying his head on one of the shoulder rests of his chair and weeping.

"Well, then, get one, dammit!" McCoy bellowed.

"I'VE TRIED! NO ONE LOVES ME! I HAVE NO CRAZED FANGIRLS! FEEL LUCKY, KIRK, SPOCK, AND CHEKOV!"

"I honestly wish I didn't have any crazed fangirls," Kirk moaned, reappearing on the bridge. "Always setting me up with one of them or other.

"You think you have it hard? Haven't you ever read any LOTR fanfiction?" Zell snapped.

"I am unaware of the term 'fangirl'," Spock announced to no one in particular.

"Be glad that you aren't," Kirk said to him.

"What do you mean 'FEEL LUCKY, CHEKOV'? I'm the least popular character of all!" Chekov cried.

"1: Next time you have a computer, check out the Star Trek: 2009 section of FFN," Zell declared. "2: That's neither here nor there."

"You're avoiding the question," said Khan wickedly.

"Okay, to answer Ladyofthelake13's question, I _will _someday be publishing the full story," Zell continued.

"You wouldn't dare!" snarled Khan.

"Yes, I would. Okay, on to the dares of lickthelightswitch," Zell announced.

**lickthelightswitch**  
** 2010-12-12 . chapter 2 **

**mmmmmmm...make Kirk, Spock, and McCoy dance to some inane pop song out right now. uhmm, maybe bottom's up? Hah, you could have Spock rap nikki minaj.. **

** If that's too stupid, (which it probably is) you could always do a truth to Kirk and ask if he's ever checked Spock out. Lmaoooo...make sure he's honest, Zell. ;)**

"Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, all of you!" Zell shouted. "Dance to this song!"

The three looked a little nervous, but began to dance. Unfortunately for them, none realized that the song on was 'Bad Romance,' one of the only pop songs that Zell knew the name of. Unfortunately, she won't be putting up the lyrics, as she never has listened to them of them out of her own free will.

"Okay, I don't know what 'bottom's up' or nikki minaj are, so we're just skipping to the awkward question," Zell announced as soon as the song was over. "KIrk, have you ever cheked Spock out?"

"Ehm... maybe... once..." Kirk mumbled. "DON'T YOU DARE PUT THIS ON FFN!"

"Too late; I already have," Zell cackled evilly. "Okay, that's all for now, folks! Tune in next time to TOS TOD!"


	4. 3 of 100

**Author's note: **_**More and more dares! Sorry for the delay! I decided to give my dear TOS friends a break for Christmas. And today, for all my readers, there will be a surprise. **_

_**Thanks to everyone! *Hands Christmas cookies*

* * *

**_

Zell gave a sigh and continued pacing on the bridge. What would she do for her dear readers to apologize to her dear readers for making them wait so long? She was running out of ideas, and no matter how much he was trying, Chekov was not helping.

Which reminded her of something. The first real twist of TOS Truth or dare was about to happen!  
With that thought in mind, Zell snapped her fingers. Instantly, the cast of Star Trek was standing there, all looking at least mildly worried. Khan appeared on the screen.

"Okay, everyone, I think you've had enough recuperation time," Zell began. "You've only really done _two _dare sessions anyways!" The characters moaned.

"At this rate, it will take far more than the two years I've allotted for all 100 chapters to come out!" she continued. "Anyways, I am going to start. Here's a dare from our friend, Ladyofthelake13!" Kirk scowled and shifted one of the bandages on his arm.

**Ladyofthelake13**

**2010-12-19 . chapter 1**

**Sorry if my other didn't save. First, YEAH I GOT A COOKIE!**

**Secondly, Dare. Since I feel sorry for McCoy now, I DARE YOU ZELDA TO GIVE MCCOY SOME DARE FOR SULU/CHEKOV.**

"Okay, McCoy. You can do the honors of torturing them later," Zell nodded. McCoy smirked and Chekov whimpered.

**There McCoy. Revenge is sweet, is it not?**

"Yeah, it is. Thanks," McCoy waved to wherever Ladyofthelake13 was.

**Khan,**

**Getting a life seriously isn't that hard. I'd be a fangirl but... not happening. I'm kinda taken already. And no, I will not say WHO I'm taken by :) You can guess if you want to waste time but I'm not saying a word.**

Khan looked sulky.

"How do I even start?" he groaned. "Anyways, thanks for the little bit of appreciation."

"Well, to start… um…" Chekov looked a little unsure of himself.  
"Okay, readers, you tell him!" Zell finally shouted, sick of waiting for Chekov's reply.

**Truth. Sorry Captain! But.. Are you and Janice together? Cause I could've sworn I saw you two macking somewhere... ;)**

Kirk blushed. Janice turned green.

"Yes, we are," he finally mumbled. "You had better not publish that! My other former girlfriends will come and kill me!"

"Because you've slept with half the girls in the galaxy?" snickered Zell. Janice just nodded wearily. She was used to her boyfriend's cassanova attitude.

**(By the way Zel, couldn't we create oppertunities for Kirk to get revenge on you for the torture you've put him under? Or is that against the rules?)**

"YAY! TIME TO SEE IF ZELL'S TICKLISH!" squealed Kirk and picked up a feather.

"Oh no," Zell burst out laughing as Kirk started tickling her. Spock raised an eyebrow and took the opportunity to take a restroom break. McCoy, Scotty, Uhura, Janice, Nurse Chapel (Who somehow knew that she was going to be in this fic some time or other), and Sulu took advantage of the situation.

"C'mon, Pavel!" shouted Sulu to Chekov.  
"I… can't…" Chekov replied, sounding a little distant. "I've been scarred for life."

As soon as the others finally finished torturing Zell, she stood back up, dusted off her skirt (for full description of her appearance, just imagine her yourself or wait for future fics), and glared at the others.  
"I can't pretend I didn't enjoy that, but don't do it again," she snapped. "Anyway, moving on."

**Oh and by the way, Bottoms up is a song. You can look it up on Youtube. Just find trey songz feat. Nikki Minaj (a rapper. You'd probably have to clean some of her words though.) lyrics.**

I would've loved to have read them doing it to that one.

"And so you'll get them now!" Zell shouted and pulled out the CD she'd bought. "Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, hit it!"  
"Zell, what exactly are we supposed to hit?" Spock asked as the other two began dancing. Zell sighed.  
"Just dance, okay?" Zell sighed. "Oh yeah, Spock, you sing along." Spock picked up the peace of paper, and, in a rather confused voice (for him), began to read.

"_Yeah_

_Oh oh it's Mr. Steal Yo Girl_

_Oh oh it's Mr. Steal Yo Girl oh oh_

_Let's go_." Chekov turned blue from not laughing.

"What does 'Yo' mean?" Spock asked.

"Your, I guess," Zell replied. "I don't really listen to much rap. I was teased for that pretty badly in sixth grade. Anyways, carry on."

"_[Chorus: Trey Songz]_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, ey, what's in ya cup_

_Got a couple bottles, but a couple ain't enough_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up_

_Tell security we bout to tear this club up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, pocket full of green_

_Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up (up, up)._ This is extremely confusing. And I see several swear words or deliberately misspelled words coming up. I cannot do this. Besides, Father told me that speech such as this has been deemed 'inappropriate' on Earth."  
"Dammit, Spock!" McCoy shouted from where he was leaping up and down on the dance floor that had mysteriously appeared. "Every time you lodge in a complaint, the music stops. Just keep it up, dammit!"

"_[Verse 1: Trey Songz]_

_You know what it is girl, we back up in this thang_

_Money stay in my pocket, girl, I'm like a walkin' bank_

_Tell me whatcha drank, tell me whatcha thank_

_If I go get these bottles, we go alcohol insane_

_Callin' all the girls, do you hear me?_

_All around the world, city to city_

_Cheers to the girls, throw a deuce to the guys_

_Now I got a chicken and a goose in the ride_

_Gettin' loose in the ride_

_Hatin'-_Zell , what do I do when I see swear words?"  
"Just say them," Kirk begged from where he had begun to Cupid Shuffle.

"No. You can say whatever you want in their place," Zell replied.  
"Thank you. - _*Censored* *This word shouldn't be used in civilized conversation* you can move to the move to the move to the side."_

"Does anyone think that this is awkward?" Sulu asked.

"Only you would pick *Censored* to censor out words. That gets a bit boring," Zell complained.

"Anything else would be illogical," Spock replied. Kirk and McCoy, whom Zell had forbidden to speak upon pain of death, looked like they were about to cry when what promised to be a lengthy conversation began.

"People usually say 'beep,'" Chekov announced.

"Thank you for that painfully obvious fact, Chekov," Zell sighed. "Next time I take you or anyone else out to dinner, I'll remember your knack for painfully obvious facts."

"What do you say?" Sulu asked curiously to Zell.

"I say -Mew- or -Woof-," Zell replied. "Courtesy of my favorite anime ever, Hetalia."

"You'll have to show me sometime," Chekov said. "-Mew- or -Woof- is much funnier than 'beep'."

"Anyways, carry on, Spock," Zell waved her hand grandly and looked at her watch. "Dang, she's not here yet."

"_[Chorus: Trey Songz]_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, ey, what's in ya cup_

_Got a couple bottles, but a couple ain't enough_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up_

_Tell security we bout to tear this club up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, pocket full of green_

_Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up (up, up)_

_[Verse 2: Trey Songz]_

_My vision's blurred, my words slurred_

_Its jam packed, a million girls_

_And I ain't tryin to lead em_

_We drunk so let me be your alcohol hero_

_Callin' all the girls, do you hear me?_

_All around the world, city to city_

_Cheers to the girls, throw a deuce to the guys_

_Now I got a chicken and a goose in the ride_

_Gettin' loose in the ride_

_Hatin *Censored *Whoever wrote this is a very uncivilized person* you can move to the move to the move to the side_

_[Chorus: Trey Songz]_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, ey, what's in ya cup_

_Got a couple bottles, but a couple ain't enough_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up_

_Tell security we bout to tear this club up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, pocket full of green_

_Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up (up, up)._ People listen to this misspelled *I have several words that I would like to say but they are all censored* why, exactly?"  
Zell sighed.

"You'll offend our readers. Carry on," she said.

"_[Nicki Minaj]_

_Yo, could I get that 'Tron?_

_Could I get that Remmy?_

_Could I get that Coke?_

_Could I get that Henny?_

_Could I get that margarita on the rock rock rocks?_

_Could I get that salt all around that rim rim rim rim?_

_Trey, I was like "Yo Trey"_

_Do you think you could buy me a bottle of Rose'?_

_Okay, lets get it now_

_I'm with a bad *Censored* he's with his friends_

_I don't say "Hi", I say "Keys to the Benz"_

_Keys to the Benz? Keys to the Benz!_

_*Censored* right yeah, weed to the 10_

_If a *Censored* try to get cute Imma sock her_

_Throw a lotta money at her then yell *Censored*, *Censored*, *Censored*,_

_Then yell *Censored*._

_Then Imma go get my Louisville Slugger_

_Excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm really such a lady_

_I rep Young Money_

_You know Slim, Baby?_

_And we be doin' donuts while we wavin' the .380_

_We give a lotta money to the babies out in Haiti_

_Yellin all around the world,_

_Do you hear me? Do you like my body?_

_Anna Nicki_

_Rest in peace to Anna Nicole Smith_

_Yes, my dear, you're so explosive_

_Say hi to Mary, Mary and Joseph_

_Now bottoms up and double my dosage_

_[Chorus: Trey Songz]_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, ey, what's in ya cup_

_Got a couple bottles, but a couple ain't enough_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw your hands up_

_Tell security we bout to tear this club up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, pocket full of green_

_Girl, you know I love the way you shake it in them jeans_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, throw ya hands up_

_Bottoms up, bottoms up, bottoms up (up, up)_

_Bottoms up, Bottoms up, Bottoms up, Bottoms up, Bottoms up. _That was filled with lack of logic. Humans are an extremely sloppy and illogical race."

"-Mew- right!" Zell replied with a grin. "Sorry. I just had to say -Mew-. I have so much fun censoring it out!"

"You are illogical as well," Spock announced.  
"Well, it's better than the time one of my cousins, without knowing what it meant, dared another of my cousins to hump a chair. That other cousin complied, much to our horror. He was ten," Chekov said gloomily. "I was scarred for life. Ten-year-olds shouldn't know what it means, not to mention eleven-year-olds shouldn't accidentally hear the word and wonder what it means."

Kirk and McCoy were released from the dance floor, all sighing in relief. Thank god that _that _was over.

"Okay, now, moving to dares from kissfromarose9," Zell announced. "McCoy, please come over here. Your first Sulu/Chekov session has begun."

She and McCoy began to read, both looking evil and very pleased with themselves.

**kissfromarose9**

**2010-12-26 . chapter 3**

**props for starting thizfic Zell, I do not own any songs mentioned, okeeeeyyy uhhhhh lemme see...**

**I dare Sulu and Chekov to play Mrs. Mary Mac with bows in their hair,**

"Okay, Sulu and Chekov, put on bows and play Mrs. Mary Mac like a certain young woman in here used to with her bff in kindergarten," McCoy announced, laughing evilly. Zell turned pink.  
"What, I was six," Zell replied shyly. "Now, Sulu, Chekov, you can have some of my old hair bows. You know how to play, right?" Sulu just nodded and put a bow in his hair. Chekov, on the other hand, whimpered as he put it in his.  
"People don't like me today," he moaned.

"Sorry, buddy. You know how to play, right?" Zell asked, looking a little smug.

"I had an older sister," Chekov replied. "Let's hope that no one dares anything that involves _her._" With that, the two began playing. Immediately afterwards, both sat down and refused to look at Zell."

**I dare McCoy to sing 'Oh What A Beautiful Morning' while attempting to stand on his head and then start a rap battle with Yeoman Rand,**

"Ooh, kissfromarose is good at this!" Zell declared. "McCoy, do it!"

Surprisingly, McCoy was a good singer. He was even good at the Oklahoma accent. That is, until he fainted from standing on his head for so long.

"Well, what about the rap battle?" Janice asked impatiently.

"Sulu and Chekov do it," Zell replied lazily. Sulu, Chekov, and Janice all began rapping, (Chekov in an embarrassed voice from his accent) until Janice managed to win the battle. She then ran over and passionately made out with Kirk until they realized that Zell was still there.

**Rand I dare you to hold your breath till you turn blue, breathe, then sing the oompa loompa theme,**

**Janice, relieved that she was no longer embarrassed, held her breath until her lips, then the rest of her skin, turned blue. She then began to sing the oompa loompa theme.**

"Oompa, loompa, blah blah blah blah there I'm done," she announced.

"ALL OF IT!" Zell screamed at her. Janice swallowed and proceeded singing all of it.

**I dare Kirk and Scotty to switch shirts and act like each other for the rest of the day, (accent included Kirk), **

"I canna' do this in front of _everyone!" _Scotty complained.

"Leave and do it, then," Zell replied. The two left, and then, five minutes later, returned wearing one another's shirt.

"I canna' hide me embarrassment, but I'm a wee bit pleased with this 'un!" Kirk announced. Scotty rolled his eyes.

**and finally I dare Spock to say 'hop' after every sentance he says if he wishes to speak for 24 hours and he must say at least five sentances(lol Bleach fans u know who u are)tchyaaah!**

"I understand perfectly. Hop," Spock nodded.  
"That won't be to bad," Zell smiled.

"Why does everyone else show amusement? Hop," Spock asked.

"It's funny!" Scotty announced.

"Mind ye, laddy, it's a wee bit amusin'!" Kirk grinned.

"You are acting rather strange, Captain. Hop," Spock announced. At this point, everyone was laughing except Chekov, who was still shaking from the last few dares. Being younger than all of the others on the bridge (except for Zell. I won't tell you how old she is, but I'll say younger than or the same age as Chekov), it was taking him rather longer to recover than the others.  
"Alright. It's time for a dare from Lucia Frayling," Zell announced and pulled out the dare. She smiled as she began to read.

**Lucia Frayling**

**2010-12-28 . chapter 3 **

**awwwww! I was crackin up when I thought spock was gunna rap! X{ ah well,**

"Hope you liked that," Zell said with a grin.

**Hey! I dare Spock to randomly shout "I freiken' love daffodils!" over and over, in the most sing-songy voice he can possibly muster! **

"Zell, I do not understand your source of mirth. Hop," Spock announced.

"Say it," Zell replied.

"Okay. Hop. I freakin' love daffodils. Hop. What is the meaning of this? Hop. I do not love daffodils. Hop. As a matter of fact, I only find them mildly interesting. Hop," Spock replied.

"Just say it," sighed Zell. "And loudly in a sing-song voice, if you can."  
"Very well. Hop. I FREAKIN' LOVE DAFFODILS. Hop."  
"Keep it up!" Zell shouted.

As Spock continued to shout "I FREAKIN' LOVE DAFFODILS. Hop," and the others tried not to insanely laugh, Zell looked at the paper. "There's more," she announced.

**Than have him skip around the bridge merrily! ;)**

Spock began skipping.

"I do not understand the significance of these actions. Hop," Spock announced.

"Shut up and skip around merrily!" Zell shouted. "We're getting to MattsyKunTehZebra's brilliant dares now!"

**MattsyKunTehZebra**

**2011-01-05 . chapter 3**

**...Before I start, I'd like to say I'm sorry to Chekov. I love you, but this dare is brilliant. **

Chekov looked as though he were about to cry.  
"Come on, we're almost done!" Zell said comfortingly. "You can do it!"

**I dare Chekov to last a day running away from a pack of female ensigns that want to glomp/huggle/kidnap you. Have fun, da? **

Chekov turned around to see a horde of fangirls, female ensigns, and OC characters that he'd been paired with.

"HELP!" he screamed.

"Nyet. It's your dare and yours alone," Zell replied. "You'd better run."

So he did. As fast as he could.

"Poor Pavel," Zell reflected. "I'll take him out to dinner to make it up to him."

**Also, Spock (idk how this can happen, but it WILL) I dare you to win a fight against Chuck Norris (explain to him, kindly) Trolololol... Love this fic~**

"Another fan!" Zell said cheerily. "See, our work isn't in vain."  
"I believe that dare is for me. Hop," Spock walked over to Zell. She nodded and snapped her fingers. Instantly, Spock and Chuck Norris were facing off. Not for long, though. As soon as Chuck Norris got near to Spock, Spock Vulcan Death-gripped him and made him slump into unconsciousness.

"Great job, you won," Zell said with a grin. "And now, onto dares from NCISgirl2! These are going to be good."

**NCISgirl2**

**2011-01-08 . chapter 3**

**yeah I love this kind of stuff sadly I can't ask **

**kirk:MEN UP YOUR SO BRAVE IN THE SHOW WHY ARE YOU BABY IN THIS YOUR CAPTAIN JAMES T KIRK yes Kirk you are my favorite...your cute**

"Aww, thanks," Kirk blushed. "I mean, I canna believe people like me so much today. All these lassies writin' in to man up or that I'm their favorite. I'll try to be more mature. But Zell can be a witch…"  
"WHAT?" Zell shrieked.

"Nothin'. I, uh, like your… belt," Kirk said lamely. Zell fingered the belt, which was made of gold with the symbol of the Triforce (Legend of Zelda fans, you know who you are) in the front on a shield-shaped pendant that hung down from it.  
"Glad you like it," Zell replied, unconvinced.

**Spock:I dare you to read kirk/Spock slash story and no ew I'm not a slash person**

"What is slash? Hop," Spock asked.

"Romance," Zell replied.  
"I am not romantically attracted to the Captain. Hop," Spock announced. Kirk looked mortified.

"Read it," Zell demanded and picked a random slash fic off of ffn.

"Fascinating… Hop," Spock announced after reading it. "This depicts the Captain and I in a rather odd way."

"In a romantic way," Zell said with a cheeky grin. "You should've seen your face! Anyways, moving on."

**Sulu:I dare you to wear a ballerina dress while dancing to I'm a little tea cup **

"McCoy!" Zell bellowed. McCoy then turned to Sulu and dared him with a smug expression on his face.

"I am so going to love this!" Uhura laughed evilly. Everyone stared at her. Who knew that she had a sadistic streak? Sulu looked as though he were about to die.

"Go change," Zell ordered, shoving a tutu at him. Five minutes later, Sulu returned from the turbolift wearing the pink tutu.

"I just saw Chekov," Sulu announced, ignoring everyone else's spasms of laughter. "He's still being chased by the fan crowd. They all are grinning evilly by now, and he's crying his eyes out. Poor kid."

Zell held her hand up to signify silence and put on I'm a little teapot.

_I'm a little teapot, short and stout_

_Here is my handle, here is my spout. _Poor Sulu looked like he was about to die of embarrassment, while everyone else looked as though they were about to die of laughter.

_When I get all steamed up, then I shout_

_"Tip me over and pour me out!" _With that, Sulu collapsed in a dead faint of embarrassment.

"Sulu appears to be rather embarrassed. Hop," Spock announced.

"You think?" Zell replied.

**Khan don't cry it's not a dare I just wanted to tell you that I sent a letter to Maria to see if she loves you like in space seed say even after how you treated her she will come back. I told her you are no longer a woman.**

Khan had been about to cry, but then he heard what had happened. He then allowed a wide smile to spread over his face.

"Someone was actually nice to me!" he said joyfully. "Yahoo!"

"Maybe poor Chekov will get a reprieve in the next chapter," Zell said to herself.

"The pattern would suggest that. Hop," Spock replied.

**Also you kind of took a big risk becoming a villain I mean some fan's either **

**love you as character**

**hate you **

**like me hate you but think you make a great villain **

"Well, I'm glad people like me as a character, I don't mind too badly that you hate me, and I am touched that you think I am a great villain!" Khan declared, now in a better mood than he'd been for the whole fic.

**oh also to everyone did you know that new movie as Spock and Uhura dating? **

Uhura's eyes lit up.

"_I _knew that," Zell announced. "The alternate timeline was cool, too."

"I am honored to be 'dating' you, Miss Uhura. I am unsure if it could ever work out in this universe. Hop," Spock announced.

"I wish that we could be together," Uhura said wistfully.  
"Fans, you know the drill!" Zell shouted. "Truths or dares about these two!"

**oh and one last thing Spock this is a fangirl: **.?term=fangirl

"I find that information very helpful. Hop," Spock announced.

"Keep using it, bud," McCoy told him. "You'll be up-to-date in no time!"

**bye bye everybody.**

**Khan don't cry it's not a dare I just sent a letter**

"Thank you again!" Khan said, looking very happy.

"And now, from 091578," Zell declared.

**091578**

**2011-01-09 . chapter 3 **

**i wish i had a piece of fanart that had spock wiggling his ears…**

"Someone will have to do it," Zell mumbled to herself. "Maybe I will. If I weren't the worst artist on the planet.

**anyway, i love this! it's great. how about making khan cross-dress? just for a second or two? lol.**

"Thankfully, I'm in a good mood. Otherwise, I'd kill whoever sent me that," Khan growled.

"Do it!" Zell shouted. Khan whimpered, but he left the screen, returning a minute later wearing a dress. Looking sulky, he ran off to change again into his normal shirt. However, Zell didn't notice. Someone had just stepped onto the bridge. A short young woman with dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and glasses. It was none other than DazzledbyNorrington, the first authoress to join Zell.

"You're here!" Zell shouted cheerfully and rushed to greet her. "Glad you came."

"Glad to be here," DazzledbyNorrington replied. "Hi, Bones!"  
"Uh, hi," McCoy replied. "Nice to meet you."

"Wait, where's Chekov?"  
"Someone dared him to escape from a crowd of girls who want to glomp him," Zell replied. "Hopefully he won't be too traumatized."

"And now on to my dares. Nurse Chapel, are you up here?"

Nurse Chapel appeared on the bridge with a snap of Zell's finger.

"Okay, Nurse, I dare you to give Spock a lap dance," DazzledbyNorrington grinned evilly. Zell decided to grin evilly as well. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I am unaware of the term 'lap dance.' Hop," Spock announced to no one in particular.

"Urban dictionary, anyone?" Zell announced to no one in particular as Nurse Chapel sat down in Spock's lap and began… well, lap dancing.

"Great. Heh, look at his expression," Zell said with a grin. Spock looked totally neutral and confused.

"Now, Scotty, your turn," DazzledbyNorrington rounded on the largely ignored Scotty. "Do your best 'Jack Sparrow' impression!"  
"That's something we'll all want to see," Zell commented in an offhanded manner.

"But why is the Scotch gone?" Scotty asked.

"You're really good!" Sulu announced. "Just a Pirates of the Caribbean fan here."  
"This is the day that you almost dared _chief engineer _Montgomery Scott!" Scotty finished to a howl of laughter.

"I have just a truth for everyone now," DazzledbyNorrington announced. "And that includes Rand and Chapel. What's your biggest fear?"

"Losin' command," Kirk announced.

"More like running out of girls to fu-"  
"McCoy, that was unnecessary!" Zell scolded.

"I am incapable of fear. Hop," Spock announced.

"How about that the universe falls under the control of illogical humans?" Sulu commented.

"I guess I'm scared of malfunctions. Our blood will boil and we'll be dead if there's _one error with our precious machines," _McCoy cried.

"I'm terrified of findin'- I mean finding- my beloved ship destroyed," Scotty said.

"Scotty/Enterprise, anyone?" Zell asked offhandedly.

"I'm scared of the world becoming a warlike, ugly place," Uhura commented.

"I always saw you as a peaceful person," Zell said.

"I'm scared of making a mistake that kills us all," Sulu shrieked. "TERROR! I COULDN'T LIVE WITH ALL OF OUR DEATHS ON MY HEAD!"

"You'd be dead as well!" McCoy shouted.

"Does anyone know what Chekov's afraid of?" Zell asked. "He's unable to tell us at this time."  
"I know!" Sulu grinned impishly. "The dark-"  
"Wait, back up. The dark? THE DARK?"

"Yes, the dark. His sister, dead corpses, becoming mind-controlled, seeing the other crewmembers hurt, and that's about it."  
"AND RABID FANGIRLS!" came a distant shriek.

"I'm scared of fifteen-year-old psychotic stalkers," Janice announced. No one heard her.

"I'm scared of losing someone I love," Nurse Chapel finished for everyone.

"Okay, that's all for this installation of Truth or Dare, TOS style!" Zell waved. "Thanks to DazzledbyNorrington for joining, and see you next time!"

* * *

Or not. I forgot about one thing.

DazzledbyNorrington and Zell were in the conference room, planning the next session (all authors that have joined are admitted to sessions), when Chekov staggered in and fainted.

"I guess he survived the fangirl chase," Zell said.

"Let's get him to sickbay," DazzledbyNorrington said in reply. The two dragged the unconscious Ensign to sickbay, where McCoy gave Zell a piece of his mind.  
"Dammit Zell, it's all because of this whole truth or dare fic thing!" he shouted.

"Watch it," she warned. "There are 97 chapters to go."

And that is the real end.

* * *

Or not. I forgot one other thing.

Zell later took Chekov to dinner to make up for the dare. She was accompanied by the other Star Trek characters and DazzledbyNorrington.

"Do you hate girls now?" Zell asked.

"No. I'm now wary around some, though," he replied.


	5. 4 of 100

**4/100**

**Author's note: **_Thanks once again to everyone! You've been really supportive even though I stink at deadlines (and my computer hates me, it seems)._

_Anyways, thanks to everyone. You know who you are! *Hands chocolate chip cookies*.

* * *

_

It was another day on the fabulous Enterprise, and the authoresses-in-residence were on the bridge, discussing the next session.

"More authors and authoresses have been asking to join," Zell announced. "I think that this is going to be a hit!"

"Yep," agreed DazzledByNorrington. "And really good dares have been submitted, as always. I think I've been too kind to them, though."

The two grinned evilly. All of a sudden, the screen flickered for a moment and Khan came on.

"Maria, I need a moment!" Khan shouted to someone over his shoulder. "Could you go draw me or something? You know that Zell is making me to the Truth or Dare thing!"

"Yes, sweetie!" came a voice behind him. "Don't worry! I'd join too, if there was enough demand! I don't want you to have to suffer while I get off the hook!"

"Maria?" commented DazzledByNorrington. "So you're together again, are you?" Her eyes glinted from behind her glasses.

"Yes," Khan replied cheerily. "I shall be forever grateful to NCISgirl2 for writing that letter." Seeing the glint in her eyes, Khan yelped, "Don't you add her into this living **-Bleep-** of a fic!"

"SAY **-MEW-** when you're censoring or I'll do something bad to you!" Zell shouted.  
"Okay, fine. Whatever," Khan grumbled.

"And my fic is not a **-mew-. **It's a hit. You have to admit that you enjoy it sometimes," Zell finished.

"Speaking of which, I think it's time to start another session!" DazzledByNorrington announced. "You've slacked off long enough, Zell."  
"Have you ever heard of 'lots of homework?'" Zell sighed. She snapped her fingers, and a few seconds later, all of the important characters walked out of the turbolift.

"Were you listening in on me?" Zell asked.

"_Da. _We were hoping that as your computer's data was erased, you'd postpone the session a little longer," Chekov said shyly.  
"Not a chance. I've worked on this fic ever since I got my computer back. I'm not letting anyone else down," Zell grinned evilly.

"What, you mean that there are _more?" _Sulu gasped. "More evil authors and authoresses that want us to be tortured?"

"You bet," DazzledByNorrington replied.

"And more are coming today," Zell finished. The characters gasped.

"Anyways, I'll let us start with DazzledByNorrington, since we finished with her last week," Zell announced, beginning the truth-or-dare session.

"Alright. First of all, I'm kind of sorry for Chekov," DazzledByNorrington began, giving him a hug. "Poor guy, chased by all of your admirers."

Chekov nodded, looking a little bit nervous at being in the presence of a fan of his, and at the same time pleased that she hadn't been chasing after him last time.

"Anywho, on to the dares!" DazzledByNorrington let go of Chekov and returned to stand next to Zell. "First of all, um, Sulu! I dare you to lick the bottom of the foot of the person on your right."

"It's Uhura," Sulu replied. Uhura sighed, took off her shoe, and let Sulu lick the sole of her foot.

"You're tickling me, you know," Uhura mumbled.

"Thank goodness that you're foot was relatively clean," Sulu grinned and stood up.

"Don't wipe your mouth!" snapped Zell. "Anyways, I'll use one of her dares now. Kirk, how many people have you made out with?"  
"Half the galaxy," snapped McCoy.

"Actually, I lost count at about fifty," Kirk blushed. Next to him, Janice sighed.

"MORE THAN FIFTY?" Chekov and Zell gasped at the same time.

"I've kissed a total of three different girls!" Chekov half-shouted. "No wonder there's no one left for me!"

"You're also younger than the rest of us!" Scotty snapped. "Give it time, lad. Besides, I'm older and I've only kissed two girls, Mira and… uh… I'll get to that later."

"Shall I produce the pictures that I took of that other girl and you?" Sulu asked innocently.

"NO!" Scotty shrieked.

"He kissed some of the machinery in the Engineering Bay," Sulu whispered to Chekov, who giggled.

"I, meanwhile, have never ever been kissed," sighed Zell.

"Don't worry," said Nurse Chapel comfortingly. "I've only been kissed by a few people, none of whom are my one true love."

"Well, who was your favorite, Cassanova Kirk?" DazzledByNorrington asked again.

"Um, my top favorites are… well, Ruth, Janice (shut up, McCoy), and Carol". Janice blushed.

"Nice. Carrying on," DazzledByNorrington continued. "McCoy, I dare you to create a mystery drink for Spock. Add anything in, by the way. Spock must take at least two swallows."  
Spock raised an eyebrow. McCoy nodded and went down to sick bay to mix the drink.

"How many people are willing to bet that he's going to try and poison Spock?" asked Sulu casually. Uhura, Chapel, and Kirk rounded on him.

"He'd never dare!" shrieked Uhura.

"He's mine!" Chapel shouted angrily. "The Doctor knows that. Maybe it's a love potion!"

"No, it's not!" Uhura tackled her. "Spock chose me!"

The two fought over Spock for a few minutes.  
"Why'd you do that, Kirk?" Zell asked offhandedly.

"He's my best friend," Kirk replied with a sigh. "Will no one realize that our friendship is platonic and nothing more?"

"You were the one who admitted that you checked him out once!" Zell sighed. "And you think that people won't turn that into slash?"  
"You won't, will you?" he asked in fear.

"That remains to be seen. I personally prefer Spock/Uhura or Spock/Chapel, but I might just to torture you." Kirk was terrified.

Just then, McCoy returned.

"Miss anything?" he asked.

"No," Zell replied, giving a warning look to Kirk and the others. "Okay, McCoy, give it to Spock."

Spock immediately drank it, raised an eyebrow, and… nothing happened.

"Dang," McCoy swore. "I put sleeping pills in it."

"Sleeping pills have no effect on Vulcans, and though I am feeling a bit drowsy, I assure you that it'll pass," Spock replied. Five seconds later, he slumped into a faint.

"Wonderful. McCoy, you're in SO much trouble right now," Zell declared. "Someone revive him."  
Nurse Chapel walked over to him, stuck a needle into his arm, and sighed with relief when he woke up. Uhura gave her a dirty look.

"Okay, Uhura, walk like an Egyptian," DazzledByNorrington commanded.

"Could've been worse," Uhura commented and, standing in a straight line, began to walk like an Egyptian… before immediately falling over.

"They do not walk that way, that is just the way they are portrayed in cave paintings," protested a voice over on Khan's viewing screen.

"Shut up, Maria!" Khan replied. "You wouldn't want to anger Zell, trust me on this one!"

Uhura got up, sighing.

"And people wonder why I don't do many off-ship missions. My depth coordination's really off," she declared.

"You are more valuable onboard, Lieutenant," Spock declared. Uhura grinned at his praise.

"Now, Chekov, do your best "Yeeehaaaw!" and pretend that you're throwing your cowboy hat in the air," Zell ordered, taking one of DazzledByNorrington's dares.

"But I can't! My accent!" Chekov complained.  
"That'll just make it funnier!" Zell declared. "Just do it!"

"Okay, fine." In his slightly warped English, Chekov gave a shriek of 'Yeeehaaaw!' and pretended to toss a cowboy hat in the air.

"Hey, Chekov. Your cowboy hat hit me in the face," Zell complained.

"Sorry," he replied, blushing.

"Okay. Khan, what is your guilty pleasure Disney movie?" DazzledByNorrington swiveled to face Khan. He immediately turned pink. It was obvious that this one was really embarrassing to him.

"Snow White," he finally squeaked out. The entire crew of the Enterprise burst out laughing, except Spock, of course.

"What, the dwarves are funny!" he complained. "And at least I don't like _Cinderella_!"

"HEY!" Chekov shouted. "That happens to be _my _favorite! At least it's not _Little Mermaid!"_

"Don't you dare slam my favorite Disney movie!" Kirk bellowed.

"Just because she's wearing a shell bra," snickered McCoy. "That's why I prefer ones where the girls dress properly. Take, for example, _Sleeping Beauty._ It's even better than _Mulan."_

"NOTHING'S BETTER THAN MULAN!" Uhura shouted angrily.

"This is, ahem, interesting," Zell declared. "Who knew that the Star Trek crew liked Disney movies?"

"Well, my favorite's _Aristocats!" _Sulu continued the dialogue.

"We should stop this now, before anyone else loses dignity," Zell shouted. "Now, DazzledByNorrington, I'll use another of your dares. Spock, if you get a chance to make anyone in this room your slave, who would you like that to be?"

"I have no desire to force anyone in here into my servitude," Spock said in a rather confused voice.

"Crud, forget it. Khan, what about you?" DazzledByNorrington was still facing Khan.

"Zell," Khan replied. "Then I could get her to shut up."

Zell took out a pen and her tablet laptop, grinning evilly.

"I WAS KIDDING!" Khan screamed. "NO, DON'T TURN ME INTO A GIRL!"

"Give him retribution," Chekov told her softly. "Just this once. We'll save that for later."

"Good idea, Chekov," Zell replied, just as softly, so that Khan wouldn't hear her. "I just wanted to scare him."

Khan gave a sigh of relief as he looked down and found that he was thankfully still a boy.

"Okay, Scotty, what is the question that you don't want anyone to ask you in this game?" Zell asked.

"Who I have a crush on," Scotty replied, turning red.

"Who? Who?" Janice asked curiously.

"Not sayin'. You never asked," Scotty said smugly. Haha, alliteration.

Just then, the turbolift opened and two other young women stepped in. One was tall with dark blue eyes and dark brown hair, though her skin was white. The only thing that the others noticed about the other girl was that she was grinning evilly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Ladyofthelake13 and NCISgirl2!" Zell shouted in her best gameshow girl voice. The only two people who were clapping were Zell and DazzledByNorrington. Everyone else was looking at the girls in a mixture of fear and horror. Except Khan. He clapped for NCISgirl2.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he cried.

"You won't be so grateful after we get through with you!" Zell declared, grinning evilly.

"You're welcome, though," NCISgirl2 smiled at him, though she still looked rather evil.

"Nice to meet all of you!" Ladyofthelake13 smiled in a friendly manner at the others. Some were now at ease, though Chekov was still a little nervous. Of course, he was the 'Nervous Nellie' of the Enterprise crew.

"Well, we should do your dares, shouldn't we?" Zell asked, suddenly seeming more like a leader. "NCISgirl2, you're first. I believe you told me that you have a previous engagement." NCISgirl2 nodded, then, her evil smile increasing. She then walked over to Spock and poked his ears.

"I always wanted to do that," she declared.

"Illogical," Spock announced to no one in particular.

"Okay," NCISgirl2 continued, "Take a bubble bath." Seeing that Zell was beginning to write on her tablet, NCISgirl2 added. "In a different room. You've got to come out with unwashed hair and in a towel."

"Very well. Illogical, but rather straightforward," Spock declared, leaving the room. Five minutes later, he returned, wrapped in a towel without his hair washed.

"So," NCISgirl2 greeted him, "How'd you like the bath?"  
"Fascinating," Spock declared. "May I put my clothes back on?"  
"No," NCISgirl2 grinned evilly again. "Just stay like that for the remainder of the dares. And now, Kirk."

Kirk stood up and gulped.

"I dare you to sing 'I'm a Barbie girl!" NCISgirl2 and the other authoresses all clapped their hands and laughed evilly.

"Don't you dare publish this!" Kirk bellowed.

"I make no promises," Zell replied, not only publishing it but turning on her video camera.

"_Hi Barbie_," Kirk mumbled, then continued in a falsetto, "_Hi Ken_!" McCoy burst out laughing hysterically.

"He hasn't even started singing yet!" Zell smiled.

"_Do you wanna go for a ride?_

_Sure Ken!_

_Jump In..._

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic!_

_you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere-_"  
"I just realized the major innuendoes in this song," Zell declared. Poor Kirk looked like he was about to die.

"I gets worse," Sulu said gleefully.

"And you would know… how? You don't actually listen to this sort of thing?" Zell was shocked.

"Listen, Zell. Chekov has a big sister-"  
"DON'T YOU DARE MENTION HER!"

"Sorry, Chekov. Well, anyways, he has a big sister, I have a little sister," Sulu finished.

"_Imagination, life is your creation-"  
_"Eww," giggled Zell and Chekov.

"Ah, to be their age," sighed Scotty. "How old are you, anyways, Zell?"  
"About Chekov's age."

"…That tells us nothing."

"Well, I'm not saying anything."

_"Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic!_

_you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere-"_

"To think how they're using a child's doll for such a pervy song," commented Ladyofthelake13.

"I know, right!" NCISgirl2 laughed hysterically.

_"Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world_

_Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly_

_You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,_

_kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky..._

_You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic!_

_you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please_

_I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees_

_Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,_

_hit the town, fool around, let's go party_

_You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"_

_You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic!_

_you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic!_

_you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_(uu-oooh-u)_

_Oh, I'm having so much fun!_

_Well Barbie, we're just getting started_

_Oh, I love you Ken! "_

"I am never going to look at a Barbie doll or James T. Kirk in the same way again," Zell muttered.

"I know," Ladyofthelake13 now had sparks around her head. "I have such a great idea for him, though!"

"And anyways," continued NCISgirl2, "I dare Kirk to meet Captain Jack Harkness. .com/wiki/Jack_Harkness."

Suddenly, Captain Jack Harkness appeared on the bridge.

"Hello, Kirk!"

"Uh, hi there," Kirk was still embarrassed, of course. "Who are you?"  
"A mysterious time traveler!" Harkness replied. "Hey, captain, I hear that you have a pretty active se-"  
"OUTSIDE, BOTH OF YOU!" Zell shrieked. Chekov violently pushed Kirk into the turbolift… or rather, tried to. Kirk didn't budge. It took the help of Zell and the other three authoresses to get Kirk anywhere. Harkness followed after a minute, and then, Zell closed the turbolift.

"Okay, the two can talk about all the people you've slept with in there!" Zell shouted after them.

"Heheh, record the conversation, Zell!" Chekov suggested.

"Great idea. I will," Zell replied and hit the secret camera in there on record.

"Okay, back to business," NCISgirl2 continued. "Khan, did you get your wife back? If not, I have this villain dating site I could show you…"

"She came back, but my best friend, Joe Chim, doesn't have a girlfriend. You could show him the site!" Khan declared.

"Okey-dokey. And now, Khan, you have to read Chekov's diary!" NCISgirl2 handed Khan a pink diary. Chekov looked as though he were about to die of embarrassment.

"Dang it. What did the kid do, anyways?" Khan whined.

"What?" Zell asked.

"He wrote every entry in Russian, French, Hylian, Mandarin Chinese, Vulcan, and Indian. Oh, thank god, I can read Indian."

"I wrote every entry once in each of those languages," Chekov explained.

"Why Hylian?" Zell was curious. "I speak Hylian, by the way."  
"YAHOO! LEGEND OF ZELDA NERDS UNITE!" he shouted.

"You know that I was originally Minish Cap Zelda, but then I turned into what I am today? That's how I speak it," Zell explained. "Now, why Hylian?"  
"So that if you got a hold of it, you wouldn't have to torture the truth out of me," Chekov replied, shyly.

"I wouldn't torture _you_," Zell declared. "You're too smart to get tortured by me. You'd evade it somehow."

Khan was reading the diary, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"What?" everyone asked at once. Chekov was now shaking and moaning, obviously knowing what this was.

"_Dear Diary," _Khan read aloud in a little girly voice.

"_Today, I met Zelda12343, psychotic and creative authoress extraordinaire, as she calls herself. She told me to call her Zell, so I will. Anyways, Zell got me this diary. I will not be calling it a journal, because this isn't one, and I won't be calling it a man-diary, because that sounds really stupid. No, I shall be calling it a diary, as that is the proper word for it. _Seriously, Chekov, you're such a pansy."  
"Shut up," Chekov whimpered. Zell put her arm on his shoulder.

"It's alright," Zell replied. "Calling something by it's proper name indicates not pansiness, but nerdiness. And as Nuts and Volts from District Three will tell you, nerdiness equals AWESOMENESS!"

"Nuts and Volts?" Chekov asked nervously.

"Haven't you read _Catching Fire?" _Zell asked.

"Wait, there's more!" said Khan gleefully. "_My sister told me that I should be nice to girls, so I said hello to her and shook her hand. I then tripped on a banana peel Sulu had placed and fell straight into her. She fell on the floor and I did as well. It was really awkward, and the rest of my crew started laughing like little kids. I have never composed emo poetry before, but I think I shall try on the next page. So much for making a good impression on her."_

"I remember that," Zell smiled fondly at the memory. "You were funny."

"Maybe we should stop torturing Chekov," Ladyofthelake13 suggested sweetly.

"Yeah," Zell replied. "I'll write a companion fic known as Chekov's Diary or something. Anyways, NCISgirl2, carry on."  
"Well, Chekov, why's your diary pink?" NCISgirl2 asked.

"My sister sent it to me. And she said she'd know if I didn't write in it. Trust me, she would. She was on this planet once and gained incredible powers," Chekov replied. Then, he saw that Zell was giving him a cold, calculating look. "DON'T YOU DARE EGG FANS ON TO BRING HER IN HERE!"  
"You heard him, fans!" Zell shouted. Chekov looked like he was about to faint.

"I mean, my favorite color is blue, but STILL! A boy with a pink diary!" giggled NCISgirl2. Chekov sighed.

"No one loves me," he sighed.

"That's what you think," came a voice behind him. Chekov turned around, but saw no one except Zell. Assuming the voice had sounded like Gollum, he was pretty sure she hadn't said that. Then again, he didn't know that Zell was renown for her Gollum impressions.

"Anywho, carrying on," NCISgirl2 continued, striding over to McCoy. "Are you dating? In love? You need a woman in your life!"

"Uh, I guess," McCoy replied. "I was married and got divorced once, and married again to some girl who lived in a hollow planet, but haven't seen either of them since. Yeah, I suppose…"

"Okay, moving on. Scotty, I dare you to mimic the American accent. For the rest of the chapter," NCISgirl2 continued.

"I'll try," Scotty declared. Actually, he didn't sound too bad.

"Hey, Spock?" NCISgirl2 returned to the first person to get one of her dares that session.

"I am listening," Spock replied.

"Am I illogical?"  
"Would it offend you if I said very?"  
"I honestly hope that you do."  
"In which case, you are very illogical."

"YAY! I enjoy being crazy!" With that, NCISgirl2 looked at her watch, realized the time, and bid everyone a fond farewell.

"Bye! I have to go to fight death monkeys!" she said cheerfully and walked out. When she reached the turbolift, she declared, "Harkness, you can leave." Turning on her heal, she finished, "Spock, back into your normal clothes," before finally leaving. Harkness left and Spock put his clothes back on.

"How was it, Kirk?" Zell asked him.

"Interesting. He had many anecdotes about his life in bed," Kirk declared. Chekov and Zell made retching noises.  
"Okay, on to Ladyofthelake13's dares!" Zell declared. "Take it away, Ladyofthelake13!"

"Hello, y'all! It's me again!" Ladyofthelake13 began. Everyone nodded in greeting to the authoress.

"Okay, Chekov, I'm going to leave you alone. You're so messed up already by that last session that you're going to be ignored." Chekov started clapping for her immediately.

"I think I like you better than some of the others on here," Chekov declared.

"Oh, you'd better take that back," growled DazzledByNorrington, unhooking a chainsaw from her belt.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean you, anyways!" Chekov whimpered. She nodded, apparently finding the apology acceptable, and put the chainsaw away.

"Who did you mean, then?" Zell asked casually.

"Not you," Chekov replied. "NCISgirl2. I can't believe she found my diary…"  
"I can't believe you're such a pansy," snickered Khan.

"I can't believe you're turning into a girl if you keep that up, Khan!" Zell declared. Khan sighed and stopped.

"Okay, anyways, I'll get you all eventually!" Ladyofthelake13 shouted at all of the members of the bridge, suddenly seeming to have electric sparks shooting out of her head. "ALL OF YOU! That includes you, Chekov!" Chekov whimpered and hid under his chair.

"Anyways, I am now going to apologize in advance to the people mentioned here," Ladyofthelake13 continued, the sparks disappearing. Everyone started shaking.

"Alright. My first target," she smiled at each of them sweetly, until her eyes locked on Kirk. "Will James (also known as Jim) T. Kirk PLEASE stand up?" she asked. Kirk whimpered and stood up.

"Well, since you found Chekov's dilemma last chapter so hilarious, I. DARE. YOU. TO REPEAT. IT!" she shouted, emphasizing every word.

"What do you mean?" Kirk asked. Chekov looked gleeful for the first time all chapter.

"Zell, that means you find his old girlfriends/any other girl he's slept with and broken her heart, and sic them on him like rabid dogs!" Ladyofthelake13 now had an extremely large amount of sparks shooting out of her head and an evil expression on her face. Kirk was very scared by now.

"Already done," Zell declared grandly. Just then, the turbolift opened. More girls than one could count suddenly poured out.

"WE LOVE YOU, JIM!" they all screamed at once. Kirk screamed like a girl and ran out of the room. About five minutes later, he burst in from another of the doors that Zell had magically created, followed by a horde of screaming women. And these weren't screaming fans. These were serious. Extremely serious.

"How's it going, Jimmy boy?" Ladyofthelake13 asked innocently as he passed.

"I-hate-you," he replied.

"Okay, whatever. Out," Zell ordered. Behind her, DazzledByNorrington and Ladyofthelake13 were laughing as Kirk ran out of yet another door that Zell had created out of thin air. All fifty or more former girlfriends followed him.

"I almost feel sorry for him," DazzledByNorrington commented.

"Anyways, moving on," Ladyofthelake13 took the hypothetical podium. "Sulu, I dare you to go around being Zorro for a day. And NO, you may not decline!" she finished strongly, interrupting Sulu's question.

"Okay," Sulu replied, pulling on a black mask and twirling his rapier. "I'm ZORRO!" Everyone started laughing.

"Alright, enjoy." Ladyofthelake13's sparks continued flying as she turned to Spock. "Spock, you have to disagree with everyone, basically be opposite of everyone else."

"Illogical, but as I fear the consequences of refusal, I shall comply," Spock replied. Scotty grinned.

"Hey, like my red shirt?" he asked.

"It is blue," Spock replied.

"Dammit, Spock, it's red!" McCoy shouted.

"There's more, Zell," Ladyofthelake13 continued dramatically. "Sorry, Bones, but this is too good to pass up. You have to agree with Spock. For three days. Even though he'll be done in just one day." A spark hit McCoy in the eye.

"Ouch!" he shouted. "Oh, fine. Yeah, Spock. It's blue."

"One more thing," Ladyofthelake13 suddenly whirled to face Khan. "Khan, you're in drag."

Khan gave a grumble of protest.

"NOW!"

Khan ran off, and everyone could hear him asking Maria to lend him a dress. A sudden burst of laughter from her let them know that this was going to be good. And indeed, it was. Khan was in a low-cut, bright red dress with high heels. Chekov started laughing in spite of himself.

"I'll kill you, Chekov!" Khan shouted angrily. "I'll kill you!"

"Last time you tried, I turned you into a girl," Zell reminded him.

"Fair enough, people?" Ladyofthelake13's sparks stopped for a moment, before suddenly flaring up again. "Sorry, Chekov, but I lied." Chekov stopped laughing and gave her puppy eyes. "What's your biggest fear?"

"Um…" Chekov looked a little nervous.

"And yes. I'm fairly sure Zell will know if you lie," Ladyofthelake13 finished. Chekov said something too quiet to hear.

"What's that?" Zell asked him.

"My sister," Chekov murmured, turning pink. Suddenly, there was a sound like an explosion outside.

"Oh, god, she heard me!" he shrieked.

"Relax, Chekov. I'll talk to her for you," DazzledByNorrington offered, running outside, followed by Sulu, who also had a black cape on by now. Five minutes later, the two returned.

"Just a girl. Actually pretty nice. Said Chekov shouldn't slander her, because she can hear him," DazzledByNorrington reported.

"She looks like a gender-bent, extremely hot Chekov," Sulu added. "Not exactly the terrifying, hormonal monster Chekov's always telling me about."

"That's because you didn't live with her," Chekov noted.

"Alright, enough fun and games with Miss Vasilia Chekov," Zell announced.

"SERIOUSLY? VASILIA?" Kirk asked as he ran by, former flames chasing him. "Were your parents aliens or something?"  
"Actually, that's the name she took after absorbing a spirit sort of thing of the same name on planet… I forget which. She's still her normal self, just with terrifying powers," Chekov reported. "She was born Andrea, but if I ever called her that after her transformation, she'd attack me."

"Very well," Zell replied. "And now, on to MattsyKunTehZebra's dares." Chekov glared.

**MattsyKunTehZebra **

**2011-01-18 . chapter 4**

**Hetalia fans unite! *fistbump* **

"YAHOO! _HETALIA!_" shrieked Zell and Chekov, joining the fistbump.

**and sorry Chekov, i'll be nice to you from now on, da? :3 **

"Fair enough. For now," Chekov said darkly. "I accept the draw."  
"ZORRO!" Sulu shouted.

**anywho... *laughs evilly* **

"I don't like this…" muttered Scotty.

**Uhura, I dare you to give Kirk a lapdance, **

If I can catch him," Uhura sighed, grabbing Kirk as he came through and sitting him down. The former flames watched as she gave him a very awkward lapdance. After a few minutes, they all began to growl at her. Then, they chased after her as well as Kirk.

"HELP!" they both shrieked.

"Goody," Nurse Chapel smiled and sat down next to Spock.

"It is bad, actually," Spock corrected her.

"I agree," Said McCoy half-heartedly. "Ugh, I hate this."  
"We need Uhura!" Zell declared.

"We do not need Uhura," Spock corrected her.

"Yeah," McCoy looked a bit upset. Ladyofthelake13, however, looked smug. Very smug. Uhura was pulled from the chase anyways, Chapel looking disappointed.

**Sulu, do a barrel roll, **

Sulu giggled in spite of himself and did a forward somersault.

"I think that's what a barrel roll is," Sulu commented, rolling from side to side for good measure.

**Spock, sing ''Hips Don't Lie'', **

"Hips do lie," Spock replied matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, they do," McCoy commented, sounding almost totally dead.

"Here's the lyrics. Read them. And McCoy. You dance," Zell commanded.

"McCoy doesn't dance. Scott will," Spock ordered.

"Yeah," McCoy looked relieved for once.

"Okay, both of you do!" Zell suggested brightly as Spock began.

_"Ladies up in here tonight_

_No fighting_

_(We got the refugees up in here)_

_No fighting_

_No fighting_

_Shakira, Shakira." _everyone was giggling.

_"I never really knew that she could dance like this_

_She make a man want to speak Spanish_

_Como se llama? Bonita, mi casa, su casa_

_(Shakira, Shakira)." _Screw giggling, everyone was laughing like maniacs.

_"Oh baby when you talk like that_

_You make a woman go mad_

_So be wise and keep on_

_Reading the signs of my body_

_And I'm on tonight_

_You know my hips don't lie_

_And I'm starting to feel it's right_

_All the attraction, the tension_

_Don't you see baby, this is perfection_

_Hey girl, I can see your body moving_

_And it's driving me crazy_

_And I didn't have the slightest idea_

_Until I saw you dancing_

_And when you walk up on the dance floor_

_Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl_

_And everything's so unexpected, the way you right and left it_

_So you can keep on taking it_

_I never really knew that she could dance like this_

_She make a man want to speak Spanish_

_Como se llama? Bonita, mi casa, su casa_

_(Shakira, Shakira)_

_Oh baby when you talk like that_

_You make a woman go mad_

_So be wise and keep on_

_Reading the signs of my body_

_I'm on tonight_

_You know my hips don't lie_

_And I'm starting to feel you boy_

_Come on let's go, real slow_

_Don't you see baby asi es perfecto_

_I know I'm on tonight my hips don't lie_

_And I'm starting to feel it's right_

_All the attraction, the tension_

_Don't you see baby, this is perfection_

_(Shakira, Shakira)_

_Oh boy, I can see your body moving_

_Half animal, half man_

_I don't, don't really know what I'm doing_

_But you seem to have a plan_

_My will and self-restraint_

_Have come to fail now, fail now_

_See, I'm doing what I can, but I can't so you know_

_That's a bit too hard to explain_

_Baila en la calle de noche_

_Baila en la calle de dÃƒÂ a_

_Baila en la calle de noche_

_Baila en la calle de dÃƒÂ a_

_I never really knew that she could dance like this_

_She make a man want to speak Spanish_

_Como se llama? Bonita, mi casa, su casa_

_(Shakira, Shakira)_

_Oh baby when you talk like that_

_You know you got me hypnotized_

_So be wise and keep on_

_Reading the signs of my body_

_SeÃƒÂ±orita, feel the conga_

_Let me see you move like you come from Colombia_

_Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi, say it!_

_Mira en Barranquilla se baila asi_

_Yeah, she's so sexy, every man's fantasy_

_A refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country_

_I go back like when 'Pac carried crates_

_For Humpty Humpty we need a whole club dizzy_

_Why the CIA wanna watch us?_

_Colombians and Haitians_

_I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction_

_[Incomprehensible]_

_No more do we snatch ropes_

_Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats_

_I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie_

_And I'm starting to feel you boy_

_Come on let's go, real slow_

_Baby, like this is perfecto_

_Oh, you know I'm on tonight and my hips don't lie_

_And I'm starting to feel it's right_

_The attraction, the tension_

_Baby, like this is perfection. _Tension is not perfection."  
"Agreed," sighed McCoy.

_"No fighting_

_No fighting._ This was filled with strange words. And hips do lie," Spock commented.

"Thank god that there wasn't much talking during that," Zell added. Everyone else was laughing so hard that they were crying. Hard.

"Alright, more!" DazzledByNorrington managed to get everyone to stop laughing.

**and Scotty, ask the Enterprise to marry you since you love it so much. **

"Yes, ma'am!" Scotty declared. He grabbed a ring, got down on one knee in front of one of the stations, and said, "Oh, sweet Enterprise, who I love so much, will you please marry me?"  
"SAY NO, ENTERPRISE!" Kirk shrieked as he ran through again. However, on every screen except the viewing screen, which was controlled by Zell and was stuck with Khan on it (in the dress, he'd been dancing slightly to the song, causing everyone to be laughing hysterically), three letters were flashed. Y-E-S.

"SHE SAID YES!" Scotty shrieked and kissed the nearest piece of machinery.

"Eww…" Chekov commented.

**Oh, I almost forgot about McCoy! Hmmmmmmmm... Chug some pure raw lemon juice until I can figure out a better dare.**

**"**Could'vebeen worse," McCoy commented and drank some lemon juice. His face distorted into a disgusted look, but he didn't seem overly upset.

**X3 this totally made my day! :D you fabulous author you~**

"Thank you!" Zell shouted to MattsyKunTehZebra. "Join whenever, by the way! And now, onto the dares from J0j2."

**J0j2 **

**2011-01-19 . chapter 4**

**ZOMG THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME! What a hilariously evil yet enjoyable fiction...I shall submit a DARE!**

"Yay, another person who likes us!" Zell and Chekov cheered. Realizing everyone was staring at them, the two blushed and turned away.

**But before I do, can you tell McCoy that I love him?**

"McCoy, J0j2 loves you," Zell reported.

"Good to know," McCoy replied.

**...like...a lot?**

"Like… a lot," Zell finished.

"Thanks, whoever you are. Glad I'm appreciated," McCoy declared.

"And what am I, no one?" DazzledByNorrington asked angrily.

"Oh, you like me too? Good," McCoy smiled. "Wow, I've got quite the fanbase, don't I?"

**I want to make this dare extra good. Let me think for a second - everyone, twiddle your thumbs!**

Everyone sat down and twiddled their thumbs except for Kirk and his ever-admiring crowd of former girlfriends or one-night standmates.

"Going well?" Ladyofthelake13 asked him.

"No," he growled and ran through another door.

"It is going well," Spock declared.

"Yeah, it is," McCoy agreed. "Someone shoot me now…"  
"ZORRO!"  
"Sulu, you're giving me a migraine."

**Hrm...I dare McCoy and Scotty (And Mr. Scott, you thought you could get off the hook!) to have a drinking contest. And then tape the things they say and upload them on the ancient network called YOUTUBE! **

"Alrighty, guys, drink away!" Zell shouted, setting up a table of shot glasses filled with extremely hard liquor. "None for you," she added sharply to Chekov, swatting his hand away. Scotty and McCoy started drinking.

"Well, we'll check up on you at the in a few hours," Zell grinned evilly.

**P.S. Also, I dare Chekov to fit into a frilly pink dress.**

"WHY?" Chekov moaned, but obediently left to put the dress on. After a few moments, everyone heard him scream, "CAPTAIN? OUT OF HERE! I'M HALF-NAKED!" everyone burst out laughing as Kirk, followed as usual by his adoring crowd, entered the bridge.

"Walked in on the wrong person," Zell commented.

"I know. I'm sorry," Kirk mumbled before continuing to run for his life. After a few minutes, Chekov reentered the bridge wearing a pink, frilly dress.

"I hate lace," he muttered.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but you're just going to have to SUCK IT UP, aren't you?" Ladyofthelake13 smiled patronizingly at him.

"Can I change clothes?" Chekov whimpered.

"Sure," Zell replied, letting him out to change.

**P.S.S. I love you Bones, so much! You rock my Spock Socks! Well...actually you rock my McCoy socks. Remember, when you suffer, I will be here to enjoy every word written by the AWESOME author Zell. :D Please send a hug to me, J0j2.**

"Okay, McCoy, send J0j2 a hug," Zell instructed. McCoy nodded and slurred something unintelligible.

"Drunk already?" Zell commented.

"Hee-hee-hee," Scotty was giggling like a school girl before he kissed the Captain's chair.

"I'll always love you, Enterprise," Scotty declared in a sappy voice.

"Okay, whatever they've said by the end of the TOD session will totally be recorded," Ladyofthelake13 had her own video camera out, as did DazzledByNorrington.

"Alright, just Freythefrog's dares left!" Zell announced, pulling out the sheet and beginning to read. However, about halfway through, she blushed fiercely and dropped the sheet.

"What, sweetheart?" Scotty asked cheerfully and tried to give her a hug.

"Haymitch Abernathy alert," Uhura intoned.

"I'll read it," DazzledByNorrington offered, picking up the sheet and beginning to read.

**Freythefrog **

**2011-01-22 . chapter 4**

**This is hilarious! :D**

"Thanks," Zell announced in a muffled voice.

"What is it, Zell?" Chekov asked. Zell turned away from him, however.

**I would like Scotty to give Uhura a massage, because I think they would both enjoy that. They are so meant to be.**

Scotty attempted to give Uhura a massage, but just ended up applying too much pressure and causing Uhura to get bruises all over her back. She stood up and smacked him.

"Thanks you!" Scotty said.

**I would also like to know which is Scotty's favourite whisky?**

"He doensn't have one," McCoy slurred. "Just give him whatever."

"You cannot give him whatever," Spock replied.

"I agree," McCoy was being sarcastic by now as well as drunk.

**And, just because I love Spock (and anything Spirky), I want Spock to tell Kirk that he appreciates their friendship very much and give him a little hug.**

The next time Kirk was running through the bridge, Spock pulled him aside.

"I appreciate our friendship very much," Spock announced and gave him a hug.

"Hugs time!" McCoy cheered and ran over to the two of them, throwing his arms around the two as well before vomiting all over the floor.

"Well, that ruined the moment," observed Ladyofthelake13.

"ZORRO!"

"Shut up, Sulu.

**Finally, I want Chekov to stop being such a prat and just kiss Zell already! ;D**

Silence on the bridge. No one moved or breathed except the drunk Scotty and McCoy, who knocked heads together and fainted.

"We stopped recording… Zell?" DazzledByNorrington turned around to see that Zell was blushing. Chekov was determinedly not looking at her.

"Zell? Something the matter?" Ladyofthelake13 asked. "Oh. I get it. Well, I'm uploading this to YouTube. Be right back!" She left.

"AWKWARDNESS!" shrieked Kirk the next time he was on the bridge. Finally, Chekov couldn't stand it anymore. He walked straight over to Zell and kissed her on the lips.

"It didn't say lips, you know!" Sulu pointed out.

"Shut up," Uhura ordered.  
Very quietly, Chekov broke apart and turned away, hiding his face in his hands. Zell was red all over and shaking.

"Did I make you mad? I'm so sorry," Chekov murmured. "I shouldn't have… Zell?" Zell had burst out laughing.

"Sorry? _Sorry? _Chekov, when I was nine and ten years old, I had a crush on you on and off. However, from age eleven onward, you've been my one true love! And you just kissed me and think I'm _angry?"_ she said, elation and incredulousness in her voice.

"Creeper much?" Sulu asked.

"Shut up, Sulu!" Chekov told him. Turning to Zell, he asked "You've seriously liked me for that long?"

"And no one else."

"No one else?"

"People accuse me of it, but no. Well, I've had non-fictional crushes once or twice, but I always keep coming back to you."  
"I don't know what to say."

"_Da. _I don't either, Chekov."

Khan suddenly burst out laughing.

"What is this, _Twilight?" _Khan asked. Suddenly, there was an explosion and he went off screen.

"I think we'd better stop now," as Zell seemed currently incapable of anything other than trying to tell herself that it was true, that Chekov had just kissed her, DazzledByNorrington had taken over ending the fic.

"That's all for now!" Ladyofthelake13 shotued. "And thanks to all of you who submitted dares! Come back next week!"


	6. 5 of 100 part 1

**Author's note: **_*Gives double portions on the cookies* Sorry guys, my life's been a bit busy. I'll try to turn the update day to Friday.

* * *

_

"So how was Rome, Zell?" Kirk asked as she triumphantly returned to the bridge to see all of the crewmembers there and the other three authoresses periodically shooting warning glances at them.

"Brilliant," Zell replied. "Hi, Chekov! Missed you! Didn't get into trouble, I hope?" She ran over and hugged him.

"Tried to steal the Truth Or Dare List," NCISgirl2 announced, giving a scornful toss of her black hair in Chekov's direction.

"We kept it from him, though!" DazzledByNorrington announced triumphantly. "Threatened him with fangirls."

"Alright. Good," Zell declared. "Was anyone else bad?"  
"I caught Scotty doing unspeakable things with the ship!" Sulu announced.

"YOU DID NOT!" Scotty shrieked. "Kissin' is as far as we've got!"  
"I have film to prove it!" Sulu replied smugly, pulling out a photograph.

"You wouldna' dare!" Scotty looked very worried.

"This is TOS Truth Or Dare! What do you expect?" Sulu asked.

"You wouldna'!"

"Yeah. I'll play it right now!"

However, when he put it in the projector, footage from the 2010 Halloween party played instead.

"Wait a sec. why is Kirk wearing that giant yellow Bunny suit?" Zell asked.

"Don't ask," Uhura advised her.

"Heh, I fooled you all! I really didn't catch Scotty doing ANYTHING with the ship. Although he admitted now that he's kissed it…"  
"SULU!"

"Right."  
"Okay," Zell looked a bit bored with the fight between Scotty and Sulu. "Onto the dares. DazzledByNorrington, take it away!"  
"Thanks, Zell!" DazzledByNorrington grinned at her. "Alrighty, to start out, I want McCoy to admit that after Spock died, he missed him terribly."

"He was part of me! How could I miss him?" McCoy asked angrily. Ladyofthelake13 raised her eyebrows and electric sparks appeared over her head.

"Oh no! She's getting an idea! Okay, fine, Spock, I missed you terribly after you died," sighed McCoy. Ladyofthelake13 looked a little disappointed, but the sparks disappeared.

"Okay, now, Chekov, sing a cheesy love song to Zell," DazzledByNorrington commanded. "Zell, you pick."

Zell and Chekov each blushed.

"Okay, um, Chekov, you can, uh, sing… _Guide you home?_" Zell suggested. "It's the best love song I know."

"Like, _Guide you home _from Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon?" Sulu snickered. "That video game was the sappiest game EVER!"

"Shut it," Chekov replied. "I'm about to start singing.

_"This is the darkest night_

_Stars have all faded away_

_Quiet upon this world_

_Through the clouds there is a light_

_We will find our way,"_

"Not exactly cheesy or a love song, Zell," DazzledByNorrington pointed out. Even so, she and Ladyofthelake13 were each filming Chekov singing the song. NCISgirl2 was downstairs doing… something. No one knew what. Assuming her craziness, no one bothered to inqure.

_"I would die for you-" _

"Much better," DazzledByNorrington said approvingly. Ladyofthelake13 giggled as Chekov continued.

_"Cross the sky for you_

_I will send out a light burnin' for you alone_

_You're all I need_

_You set me free_

_And this fire will guide you home_

_There is an open door_

_Somehow it feels so familiar_

_We have been here before_

_Through this all forgotten fight _

_There must be a way_

_I would die for you_

_Cross the sky for you_

_I will send out a light burnin' for you alone_

_You're all I need _

_You set me free_

_And this fire will guide you home_

_Where our hearts are wide open_

_Where our promise's unbroken_

_I would die for you_

_Cross the sky for you_

_I will send out a light burnin' for you alone..._

_I would die for you_

_Cross the sky for you_

_I will send out a light burnin' for you alone_

_You're all I need_

_You set me free_

_I would die for you_

_Cross the sky for you_

_I will wait for you_

_And I'll stay with you_

_I will die for you (You're all I need)_

_You set me free_

_Set me free_

_And this fire will guide you home"._

"Thanks, Chekov," Zell smiled. Chekov turned and grinned cheekily at her.

"Alright, next!" Kirk was feeling a little jealous that for once, he hadn't gotten the girl.

Suddenly, NCISgirl2 returned to the bridge, grinning at everyone.

"Hey, everyone!" she declared. "Since I'm a sweet person, I decided to make cookies for you!" she began passing out cookies. Everyone grabbed one and thanked NCISgirl2.

"And since Khan is out of reach, Zell, you can have his cookie," NCISgirl2 handed Zell the last cookie.

"And now, for the dares. I am still an evil person, after all." Spock nodded stoically, but everyone began to shake violently.

"Oh, and nothing wrong with watching Disney movies. They're classics. I like them all. Except Alice in Wonderland."  
"HEY!" shouted Janice all of a sudden. "I happen to like that one!"

"Whatever. Hey, can you actually bring Khan here, Zell?" NCISgirl2 asked.

"Okay, fine. Khan, come here!" Zell wrote something on her pad and all of a sudden, Khan appeared on the bridge instead of on the screen. Maria, his wife, suddenly appeared on screen.

"Hey, everyone! Since Khan's over there, I'll be taking over his role as the cameo character!" she declared with a winning smile. Poor Khan looked like he was about to cry. Again.

"Now we'll be able to torture you better!" Ladyofthelake13 sounded like she'd just gotten a wonderful present. Sparks appeared above her head.

"Glad you like it!" NCISgirl2 grinned evilly. "Okay, Kirk, I dare you to wear a pink version of your Starfleet shirt."

"WHAT?" Kirk shrieked.

"You heard her," DazzledByNorrington told him smugly, already holding a pink Starfleet shirt.

"HOW DID YOU GET IT SO FAST?" Kirk asked incredulously as she shoved the shirt at him.

"I read the list beforehand," she replied matter-of-factly. Sighing, Kirk walked into the turbolift. A second later, he walked out wearing the pink shirt. He gave a little sigh and walked over to the captain's chair… only to find NCISgirl2 sitting in it.

"Sorry," she sounded more gleeful than apologetic. Then, she wrinkled her nose. "Why did you sleep with Jack last chapter?"

"I didn't," he replied. "We just talked about the many people we've slept with."  
"We can see who's telling the truth!" DazzledByNorrington held up the tape that she'd taken from the camera in the turbolift accusingly. Kirk swallowed, but didn't flinch as it started playing.

As it turned out, though they didn't do any… um… sleeping together, their conversation was so dirty about the different people they'd slept with and different topics relating to… ah, sleeping with people that Zell and the other authoresses all cast horrified looks in his direction.

"JAMES T. KIRK, IF YOU'RE MOTHER KNEW YOU SPOKE LIKE THAT-" Zell began.

"I no longer live with her," Kirk whimpered.

"WHO CARES? SHE'D STILL BE HORRIFIED!"

"Does anyone sense blackmail material?" DazzledByNorrington commented to NCISgirl2 and Ladyofthelake13, who both exchanged evil looks. The sparks appeared above Ladyofthelake13's head again.

"Alrighty, back to our job!" NCISgirl2 declared a minute after Zell stopped threatening Kirk. "Spock, I dare you to walk right into your fangirl club."

"Duly noted. Please beam me into the location of the 'club'," Spock agreed. The authoresses exchanged glances of evil glee. It was obvious Spock didn't understand what he'd agreed to do.

"_Nyet! _Don't do it!" Chekov screamed at Spock.

"I do not understand your source of distress, Ensign," Spock told him as Zell beamed him into the fangirl club (sending DazzledByNorrington and Ladyofthelake13 along inconspicuously to film).

"We'll collect them at the end of the dare," Zell said.

"You're so cruel, Zell," Chekov sobbed.

"I know," Zell sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm thinking of being in a TOS fic when I'm nicer." Chekov grinned at her. He knew she was really a much nicer person.

"Alrighty, McCoy, Read a Spock/McCoy slash story," NCISgirl2 ordered. McCoy swore softly, but grabbed a nearby computer (that had been randomly floating on the bridge for the past few minutes), which for some reason already had a Spock/McCoy slash story open. Two minutes in, he screamed in horror and flung the computer as far away as possible.

"I do not do 'it' with-"

"This session isn't rated R, in case you didn't notice," Zell commented. "Well, Kirk's conversation certainly was, which is why the next time he pulls something like that, I'm calling his mom."

"HA! I GOT YOU!" NCISgirl2 laughed evilly. "And now, for Sulu!" Sulu yelped as though he'd been stung and hid under his helmsman station.  
"Get out from under there," Zell demanded. "Or I'll genderbend you." Sulu scurried out.

"Alright. Hang out with a woman that's got an obsessive crush on you," NCISgirl2 ordered. Zell nodded and made a girl appear on the bridge. She had bright green hair in two long pigtails, typical manga eyes, and was wearing a golden Star Trek t-shirt and jeans.

"SULU! I LOVE YOU!" she screamed and glomped him.

"Go to dinner with her," NCISgirl2 demanded. Using her author powers, Zell beamed them to a fancy restaurant.

"What about a camerawoman?" NCISgirl2 asked.

"The waitress is an old friend of mine," Zell replied. "She'll make sure that they're recorded."  
"He needs an OC story," NCISgirl2 commented.

"I'll be sure to write one to make up for my absences on here," Zell assured her. "Also, you can say hello to my first non-authoress OC to join the story when the two get back. I'll explain her backstory later, but rest assured that Sulu's got a romantic interest in this TOD fic now!"

"And now, to Chekov!" NCISgirl2 rounded on the now quaking character. "Originally, I was going to have you wear a dress…" Chekov started looking like he was going to cry. "But since you did that last time, you get to eat fish sticks and custard. The Doctor from Doctor Who (from the episode eleventh hour) ate it once and liked it. Then again, he's a very odd person." Chekov sighed with relief and caught the plate Zell had somehow made appear right above him containing fish sticks and custard.

"Good for you. I hate fish sticks," Zell mumbled. Chekov ate them (without gagging), until he finished the custard and realized that his plate was yet to be empty. Zell had put a small chocolate truffle with cherry filling on the plate as well.

"Thanks, Zell," he smiled and popped it in his mouth. Zell took a moment to taste the truffle that had been left on his lips, then continued the session.

"Scotty! I dare you to break a model Enterprise!" NCISgirl2 commanded. Scotty started crying as Zell handed him a model and a hammer.

"I canna' pretend to break my own _wife_!" he declared.

"Has the wedding been held yet?" NCISgirl2 asked. When he still didn't break the model Enterprise, she grabbed his hand and made it smash the model.

"HOW COULD YE?" he shrieked at her.

"I'm a mean person," she replied. "I never said you couldn't repair it." Excitedly, Scotty ran off to fix it. "And now, our first real interaction, Khanny boy!" Khan whimpered as she walked towards him.

"Since we didn't find out your worst fear, Khan, I dare you to relive it," she smiled evilly, grabbing a video camera out of nowhere.  
"NOOO!" Khan screamed.

"Deal with it, okay?" she laughed. Then, upon a random idea, she kicked him. In the groin.

"YOUCH!" he shrieked. Maria couldn't help but giggle. Actually, everyone was laughing. The great Khan was being beaten up by NCISgirl2.

"That's for not letting your wife join last time," NCISgirl2 told him. "And now, Uhura." Uhura stood up, swallowing. "DIE!" NCISgirl2 ordered. Uhura, who remained rather calm the whole time, gulped.

"Just kidding. You're my favorite female character," NCISgirl2 told her. Uhura sighed in relief.

"Wait! I'm not done yet! You have to go hand out with a really annoying five-year-old boy!" she ordered. Zell, grinning like a maniac, nodded and summoned a little kid.

"Hey, do you wanna see how high I can jump? Huh?" he asked excitedly and climbed onto Uhura's lap.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello another new cast member: Tommy the stereotypical annoying five-year-old!" Zell declared.

"No thanks, Tommy," Uhura said with a small sigh. She liked kids, really she did, but this one was… annoying.

"Hey, guess what? I can snort boogers five feet! Wanna see that?" Chekov, who was five feet away from Tommy, yelped and hid behind Zell.

"Actually, I think I'd prefer seeing your jumping skills," Uhura told him. Tommy leapt off her lap and started jumping up and down.  
"While those two are busy, I'll move on to Janice!" NCISgirl2 said with another evil smile. Janice nodded, looking worried. "You can go to a bar. You may not leave or talk and just let all those men flirt with you."  
"HEY!" Kirk protested. "She's my girlfriend!"

"No one cares," NCISgirl2 said carelessly. "Now go, Janice." Janice suddenly disappeared.

"Spock should be getting back from the fan club soon," Zell remarked. "And Janice's situation will be documented by the bar security cameras."

"And now, onto Nurse Chapel," NCISgirl2 said. Nurse Chapel nodded shyly. She wasn't sure if she should be happy or worried.

"Eh, what the heck! Sing if you're happy and you know it! You might have a great singing voice!" Nurse Chapel actually seemed happy about this one, and walked to the center of the bridge. Suddenly, all the lights went off except for a spotlight on her.

"_If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" _Zell, NCISgirl2, and the characters (even Tommy) clapped their hands. As it turned out, Nurse Chapel actually did have a great singing voice. Everyone agreed, and listened to her every command, then burst into applause for her at the end.

"Fantastic!" NCISgirl2 commented. "And now, everybody, what do you think of Daleks? .com/wiki/Dalek " Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, a sort of thing that looked an awful lot like R2D2 appeared.

"R2D2~" shouted Chekov.

"Get away from there!" Zell shouted in reply and grabbed him. The Dalek disappeared.

"Cool," Zell commented.

"Do you watch Doctor Who, Zell?" NCISgirl2 asked.

"Unfortunately, I don't," Zell replied. "Though I've heard of it."

"And now, Uhura and Chapel, DON'T fight over Spock!" NCISgirl2 turned to the two Spock fangirls.

"Why not?" they asked.

"You're too good to be doing that!" NCISgirl2 replied. "Besides, I'm Spock/Uhura and sort of McCoy/Chapel."

"Hey, Uhura, wanna see me climb-"

"No, Tommy," Uhura sighed and sat him down on her lap.

"And finally, Zell, please don't make fun of things that you hate in fanfic form. I just hate it too much when people do that with the hate fics," NCISgirl2 said.

"Oh, did I? Sorry. I'll stop," Zell said. "And now, NCISgirl2, I'll give you the honor of returning Spock, Sulu, and Janice!" NCISgirl2 cackled and grabbed Zell's tablet.

"I'll get you one next time, I promise," Zell told her. "Same goes for the other two authoresses. Or any other author/authoress who might want to join." NCISgirl2 used the tablet of death and doom to summon first Janice, who looked rather flustered, then Sulu and the girl, who was hanging onto him with a sappy expression, Spock, who looked calm though his hair and clothing were messed up, and the other two authoresses, who were holding their video cameras and laughing hysterically.

"I'll be doing a special chapter next time, in honor of completing five chapters of TOS Truth or Dare-"  
"Way off schedule."  
"-MCCOY! Anyways, I'll be doing a special chapter reviewing all of the video footage we've taken over the first five chapters! How about that, folks?" Zell grinned. "That footage will be reviewed as well!" Turning to her fellow authoresses, Zell asked, "What happened?"

"The fangirl mob all climbed on top of him at once!" DazzledByNorrington reported.

"Yeah, and they all tried to plant kisses on his face!" Ladyofthelake13 announced. "We have the footage for next chapter to prove it."

"Sulu, how was the date with Maia?" Zell asked.

"Maia?" DazzledByNorrington asked, confused.

"Sulu's new romantic interest, Maia Sulufangirl Shosuke!" Zell grinned.

"Is she Japanese?" Chekov asked.

"Her dad is," Zell replied.

"SULU!" Maia shrieked and glomped him again.

"The date was… interesting," Sulu told Zell. "She tried to eat off my plate a few times."

"Do you like her?"  
"Well, I guess. It's refreshing after all of the time's I'm paired with Chekov-"  
"WHAT?" Zell's eyes had turned red. "YOU'RE PAIRED WITH _MY _CHEKOV?"

"Relax, Zell. Sulu _is _in a lot of slash stories," Chekov told her. "So am I, as a matter of fact."  
"SULUSULUSULUSULUSULU!" Maia continued to scream and jumped onto his back. Sulu keeled over.

"Maia, behave," Zell ordered her. Maia, sighing, climbed off of Sulu and helped him up.

"We _should _be getting to the dares, anyway," DazzledByNorrington pointed out, reloading her video camera and wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes.

"Alrighty. Prepare for dares from MagicalMisto7!" Zell declared and began to read.

**MagicalMisto7 **

**2011-02-02 . chapter 1**

**wow this is awesome! **

"Yahoo! Fans galore!" Zell shouted. Everyone else just clapped.

"You know, none of my other stories are this popular, come to think of it," Zell said.  
"Why don't you update it on schedule, then?" McCoy snapped at her.

"Ever heard of school?" Zell asked in reply.

**I'm so glad that so many other people like the original Star Trek! **

"Yeah, they like torturing us-"

"MCCOY!"

**My dare is for Spock! **

"Very well," Spock announced.

**You are one of my all time favorite characters! Seriously! **

"I appreciate that you appreciate me," Spock said to MagicalMisto7.

***And yes it is true I do have a bit of a crush on you* **

"Hey, Ladyofthelake13, was MagicalMisto7 at the Spock fangirl club?" DazzledByNorrington asked her.

"Dunno," Ladyofthelake13 replied.

**You may say that it is illogical but whatevs! My dare for you Spock is to kiss Kirk! (I am a fan of Spock/Kirk but Spock/Uhura is pretty awesome too). **

Spock walked over, kissed Kirk on the cheek, and walked back to where he'd been standing.

"Hey!" Uhura and Chapel shouted.

"Did Spock just kiss Kirk? I kiss frogs-"

"TOMMY!"

**And McCoy! *insert insane evil laugh* I want you to imitate Spock for a whole day and NO SARCASM! **

"I hate you," McCoy snapped, but sat down in Spock's chair. "Live long and prosper, people."

"Spock wouldn't say people," NCISgirl2 pointed out.

**so yeah, and Uhura, if you are that jealous then you can kiss Spock too. That's it I think.**

Uhura walked over, kissed Spock passionately on the lips for a total of five minutes, and walked back to her station. Nurse Chapel looked like she was about to kill her until she realized NCISgirl2 was glaring at her. She apologized and looked away.

**Saiyonara!**

"That is goodbye in Japanese," Zell announced.

"Zell, the dare asked MCCOY to act like Spock, not you," Ladyofthelake13 pointed out.

***Kisses Spock* Bye!**

"I have a fangirl, it appears," Spock said.

"Onto Whochild of Darkness' dares," Zell said, trying to draw tension away from the glaring Uhura and Chapel.

**Whochild of Darkness **

**2011-02-02 . chapter 5**

**I think I nearly died laughing while reading this! **

"I believe it is illegal to kill people like this, Zell," McCoy announced.

**XD Wow! "Hug time!" That part was probably what did it! **

"Who said that?" McCoy asked.

"You did," DazzledByNorrington told him.

"I do not remember that-"

"You were drunk," Chekov said helpfully. "And Zell wouldn't let me become drunk either."

Zell, meanwhile, was laughing so hard that she was crying.

"I think she reread the part," Ladyofthelake13 commented.

**Ok, I have something to say to McCoy. You're my favorite character ever! **

"Thank you," McCoy almost smiled, then remembered his dare and stopped.

**Just so ya know, I'm a country girl so I completely relate to you. :) SOUTHERNERS UNITE! lol! **

McCoy and Zell both nodded.

"So you are from the South, Zell," Spock said.

"Yeah," Zell replied. "But I won't say anything else about my location

**Well anywho, to the point: Scotty, I dare you to break up with the Enterprise! **

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Scotty screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! We haven't even had-"  
"SCOTTY!" Uhura snapped. "There is a five-year-old in here."  
"SULU!"

"Maia…" Zell just sighed.

**Harsh, I know. No one ever accused me of being a nice person though! ;P **

"WHY?" Scotty moaned. "No one's hating on Zell and Chekov like they are on Me and the Enterprise!"

"She never said that you couldn't get back together with it!" Zell pointed out.

"She's not an _it!" _Scotty protested. "Oh well. I'm breaking up with you, Enterprise." Everything suddenly turned off.

"_Great. _Just f***ing great," Khan snapped.

"KHAN There is a five year old here!" Uhura warned him.

"SAY **-MEW-!" **Zell screamed at him.

"Uhura, what does fu-"

"Nothing you should know, Tommy," Uhura replied. "Wait, how the heck will we continue the TOD session without power?" McCoy looked relieved.

"I don't know," Zell snapped in reply.

"He was just joshing you!" Ladyofthelake13 shouted.

"Trust us," DazzledByNorrington added.

"Show her your ring!" NCISgirl2 pleaded with Scotty.

"She canna' see when her power's off!" Scotty replied.

"Fine. Commercial break," Zell snapped. "I'll fix this."

* * *

**Author's note: **_Yeah, the fifth installment was so long that I've cut it in half. I'll be posting the next half later today. _


	7. RED ALERT

**A Red Alert**

"Hi, everyone!" Zell shouted. "Sorry about being gone for so long; I've had life to deal with."

"You're giving me a migraine," Sulu complained. "We liked it better without you, anyway!"

"Tell that to the fans who have been checking in on me!" Zell turned to him menacingly. "Anyways, I have decided that since this is getting to hard to update, I'm discontinuing it."

The authoresses gave shouts of surprise or outrage. Rotten fruit got thrown at Zell from her audience. She just opened a parasol. The characters, however, all sighed in relief.

"That does not mean, however, that TOS Truth or Dare is being discontinued!" she continued. The authoresses just nodded, still looking skeptical. The rotten fruit-throwers stopped. Zell closed her parasol. The characters all gave moans of 'NO!'

"As of this moment, TOS Truth or Dare is being moved to a forum. This way, instead of waiting for updates that usually come late and only once a week, I will be able to respond to each dare more quickly."

"Okay, but still, that might make it harder," pointed out Ladyofthelake13. "Will much change? I would like to see that film I allegedly made."

"I'm getting to that," Zell replied. "Another way that this will be easier is that my friends and awesome supporters the other authoresses will be able to actually do something other than just be in the fic having me write them. Yes, I'll be inviting all three to be fellow moderators if they don't hate me for taking so long on this update." *Insert reaction here*

"Finally, because it is a more complete forum, I will be having several different sections, including one in which dares will be answered, in which we finally get to read Chekov's pink, sparkly diary in its entirety (Chekov turned bright pink), in which we will be watching those fun films, in which we have character bios, and in which we'll be writing challenges." Turning to look at her friends, Zell grinned.

"And guess what the best part is?" she asked, breaking the fourth wall and talking to her mostly female audience. "Unlike TOS Truth or Dare, in which you only get a new rarely and that had an end in sight, this is NEVER going to end! I'll have to die before this ends, and hopefully I'll have other moderators to carry it on if that happens!"

The characters all groaned.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Zell asked with a grin. "Get moving!"

The lights went out.

* * *

Suddenly, the lights came back on to reveal a blushing Zell.

"Oops! I forgot to give you lot the forum link! It'll be easier than just going to the forum section, after all! The forum can be found here: http:/forum. fan fiction . net /forum/TOS_Truth_or_Dare/92295/

Just remove the spaces, y'all!"


End file.
